Insomnia

If i write a blog every night I stay awake, I would have written a book. By a book, I mean a trilogy. Guess what? I have never read a trilogy. Sad.

I am not sure I should call my sleeping pattern awkward or different. Considering I am not along on this, I can say there are many awkward or should I say different people. Those who work at night and sleep during the day. It can be such a lonely life sometimes. Your close friends can be found on whatsapp at this time. Hmmmm.

My Dream Sleep. Dream on Taiwo. (Source: https://fthmb.tqn.com)

I can name a few of us off the top of my head. Eme who has been able to convince everyone of his boss he works at odd hours. Bode, who works for himself and loves to write his own rules. Ehi, who I just met who probably transformed due to baby duties. Asmau a potential and hopeful client who sleeps till 2PM because she stays awake all night. I guess we make the Nigerian economy function round the clock. We have created our 7/11, our night nurse system and many other 24 hour services. Let us just say, we take full advantage of the Internet. Or rather the Internet takes full advantage of us.

Is insomnia a medical condition? Maybe the word I was looking for is not insomnia as this refers to inability to sleep. It does not state when. Further study shows quite a number of sleep disorders out there. I am definitely a patient of some. Further check shows there are apparently 9 or maybe more Common Sleep Disorders. They are listed in order as:

1. Insomnia
2. Sleep Apnea
3. Restless Leg Syndrome
4. REM Sleep Behaviour Disorder
5. Narcolepsy
6. Sleep Walking
7. Sleep Terrors
8. Bruxism (Teeth Grinding)
9. Ibadism (Sleep off while driving)

First of all, I made up number 9. Why not? They all seem made up. Who comes up with Bruxism? People deceiving people since forever with terms and phrases. No wonder Trump won the election with a third grader vocabulary. We tired of the schism. Used the word wrongly here but in an ism mood.

Ibadism happened to me while driving from Ibadan back to Lagos. I dozed off and was woken up by the loud horn of a truck. A moment too late, I would have been dead without knowing it. Maybe we take death too seriously. Maybe I should call it Odunism. I won't tell you why but just know they refer to the same thing. Ibadism or Odunism: Driving under the influence of stupidity.

Now to number one. It is irregular sleep. It has nothing to do with time of day. Such a fraudulent definition. Almost everyone has insomnia. Some people can't sleep easy during the day and some at night. All na insomnia.

Sleep apnea is not as rare as you think. The explanation is also scary. If you snore, then you just might be a candidate for sleep apnea. Sleep apnea victims completely stop breathing for a length of time and sometimes multiple times at night (like insomnia, it just might be anytime of the day). Apparently it happens to 1 in 5 Americans. I guess this probably goes for the world too. How do they know? Well, they have a body called the National Sleep Foundation. They have to earn their pay. Now you know why the unemployment rate is so low over there. They have a job for everything. they even have jobs for jobs that have not been created. I am 1 in the 5 by the way. How do I know. I was told. The only way to know you are apnead (made up) is to have an observant bed mate. If there is any reason to have a bedmate other than commit those sins, this is it. You literally stop breathing. Only an observer can tell you that. If they stop being your sleep mates, then you just saved yourself one less trouble. I saved myself on less trouble. Not sure it was the apnea or something else unrevealed.

Everyone has the crazy leg. not sure that's abnormal. Maybe not having it is abnormal. REM sounds old and frequent. If you dream, then you definitely REM. I have only met one person who never dreams. So she claimed. Life might have happened to her though. Enjoy your dreams Seyi.

Narcolepsy is what I call sudden sleep yakata. Have you ever seen someone sleep off in the middle of a conversation? Now, that is a disorder and deserves a special name. Hey, wake up and continue reading this. I know a few but I am not one of those and won't want to embarrass Ayo. Oops. I think a number of our politicians do that. Not sure if it is Narcolepsy but that is a better defense for them than incompetence or old age. Google "Nigeria politician Sleep". I don't want to put any picture in my blog. I might be hounded for financial crimes and the minister of information is also working some social media management procedure. Sleep pictures might not be allowed.

Sleep walking still seems like a myth to me. Won't talk about it. If you know anyone or if you are not ashamed to, then please comment on it.

Sleep terror is you talking and screaming in your sleep. Usually based on a traumatic past. Nigerians are surely resilient. With a traumatic government and frequent heart breaks by slay queens and yoruba daemons, I wonder why we sleep peacefully. We must be so cold inside.

Bruxism sounds made up too. The name even makes it seem so. Never heard of it and never seen anyone doing eat (it). If you do meet someone who does, I doubt you would sleep next to them again. That could lead to a bloody morning some day. Maybe they mean a grinding kiss. Had a girl who kisses with her teeth.  I am sure there is a name for that too. They claim about 45 million Americans have this Bruxism thing. Sounds like another 1 in 5. Are these statistics made up? Like I said jobs, jobs and more jobs out of nothing. Lucky American dentists.

So much for sleep disorder research. As I complete this, I hear my neighbours generator grinding away with another industrial sized one with no silent cabin coming up in a flat near me. I wonder how such owners sleep well at night with a conscience. I think there should be one for generator deprived sleep. Maybe our insomnia is not natural but a product of a noisy generator night. Let's call that GENRIXM or better still NEPISM with lack for a more creative and unrelated word. Nigerians know where NEPISM comes from. You can ask any of your Nigerian friends.

PS:

There is no apparent term for kissing with your teeth. I would have lost a bet if I made one. Thank God there is still some sanity in the world.

The suck kiss. There is probably a name for this(Source: Naira Land)

A visit to the Queen

I am sure you wondering who the Queen I visited was. Actually, I visited the National Theatre in Lagos. It is listed as one of our national monuments. I think it is better we just call it a national relic. A once in the distant past monument of pride.

I took my nephews and nieces for a trip not sure what to expect. I don't recollect visiting that place in decades. It is definitely no more a theatre. It looks more like a huge piece of something occupying a prime area of real estate. We had planned to visit "The place of no return" in Badagry. We changed at the last minute due to logistics, time and probably a budget constraint. I wouldn't dwell on that but that was the slave port for shipping us to the new world for a part of a horse and never to return. I hear 16 slaves are exchanged for one horse.

The entrance prides a huge portrait of queen Amina of Zaria. Not sure of her achievements right now but I recall war was a part of it. She is portrayed mostly on horse back so she is probably a horse lover or history was rewritten for sensationalism.

From Left: Ayobami, Olaife, Ayomikun, Ayotunde and Oreofe (The Queen in the background)

I wouldn't have titled it a visit to the queen but I noticed on departure that there is a statue of her welcoming us to the theatre. I don't know how I missed it. I guess her welcome was not as dramatic as the sculptures assumed or my expectations for the visit made me miss such a master piece.

I am guessing now that the theatre was themed around the queen. Beyond that, I can't say much. I expected the visit to be uneventful but I noticed the kids had fun all the same. Kids tend to make the best of every opportunity. Wish we could all be like that again. I am trying to.

My sister thought they would be a handful. I don't know why such worries. The trip to the theatre was just what I expected it to be. The trip. The kids stared for a while, argued for another part and pretty much were deep asleep by the time we arrived.

The boys fearlessly on their horses

I will just talk about our experience and how we had fun. Sadly, the theatre had nothing much to offer. I even feel opening it as an entertainment relic would be better than the state we met it. I wonder why our government is so wasteful, unimaginative and mostly disorganized. The only hall meant for stage plays was unavailable due to the hall being rented out for what I suspect was a private event. I guess this is an unintended outcome of privatization. Our journey to the theatre was almost completed before we started.

Oreofe not-so fearless mount

Thanks to the horse riders who had their malnourished horses out for rent. The boys Ayotunde and Ayomikun were excited and had a good ride. The girls were scared to their pants literally. I noticed a loud fart from Olaife at some point while crying and protesting against getting near the animals. I thought she went beyond a fart but thankfully, she was well behaved. Beyond that, they sure had fun. Surprisingly, Oreofe wanted to play soccer ball. That is what she called it. Surprised she knew the word soccer at the age of 3 years. I guess watching Nikelodeon or 61 as she fondly calls it has not been a total waste of time.

I would mention in passing that we did have lunch. We went to the food court as I have no better way to describe it. We stopped in court x (thanks to the lady who was all over us the moment we got to the theatre) and managed to have a couple of stuff. None was memorable so I really would pass on the experience. I don't even have any pictures from the tasteless experience. I don't know what the other courts might have offered us though. I replaced the court number with x as an after thought. It is not my intention to de-market any business. It just might be a better experience for you.

The journey home was less eventful as we were on our way to familiar grounds. The kids were a bit cranky and we had a few fights in the car. I realized this was normal as they made up without jus as they started. We stopped at another relic on the way home. The national stadium. They were 7 minutes apart according to google maps. i think it was more like 10 minutes. Probably due to LASTMA stopping us for jumping a light and also the google lady missing the estimated time. Yes, I did jump a light. In my defence, the kids distracted me and we had to settle another fight. We appealed to the wardens and I guess arresting me with 5 noisy children didn't seem like an offer they wanted.

We spent a few minutes in the national stadium. The kids were curious and didn't mind it was a relic from my point of view. I wonder if everything with the word "National" in it is more of a relic than a monument. Play a game in your mind. Think of any National sites or functions and decide if it is a relic or a monument.

I would say every journey and experience is worth it. We have lost history and assume these old monuments (relics) are not worth showing our kids. I have no idea what this experience would teach them. However, they are good at reflections. They come up with the smartest ideas. It was definitely better than staying at home and Olaife seemed to have a new bounce when she got home. I almost missed showing you are departure picture when leaving home. She didn't forget to grab her bag. She already knows an outing requires a hand bag. Thankfully, the bag wasn't a relic. Amazing.

I forgot to take a picture of the Queen statue on a horse. Like I said, she must have not been that obvious or I just didn't expect to meet her there. You be the judge.

Queen Amina at the entrance

How much do we really know?

The title speaks. We really can't know so much. Even if you have a ten thousand-book library, would you say the person knows so much? It reveals a constant quest for knowledge but doesn't prove much knowledge. I was just thinking about this while watching Farid Zakaria on CNN and he presented a teaser on refugee statistics and I thought, beyond Farid and those in the know, who really knew the answer.

Can Stephen Hawkins speak Yoruba for instance or an African correspondent speaks all major languages in Africa. I think this is a reflection about our level of knowledge at any point in time.


I think it is time to get humble and stay humble. This probably explains the Trump problem in America right now. No need to debate on his level of knowledge, information or analytical mind. He never reads. That sums it up. Yet. he choses to believe he is the smartest ever. One thing I keep saying is that Trump did change the world positively. He woke the world up to how much we need to learn to lead. Now we research on opposition research, collusions, the cold war and NATO. Things we probably didn't bother to know because we believed our leader knows about it and would do his job.
Now, this. We all want to know to protect ourselves just in case.

The Donald has definitely created many future leaders.

Wrong Spelling

I just read a book written by a fellow named Okechukwu Ofili. He also has a blog called ofilispeaks.com which i have not even opened as i type. Where hast gone your curious mind Taiwo?

That is not even the purpose of this post. I only mentioned it because his work inspired and pushed me to start writing again. This happens all the time when you read an inspiring book and wears off after a while of distraction. That is also not the purpose of this post.

The purpose is actually quite shameful. I couldn't remember the name of my blog. I tried orisirisi.blogs... and it failed. Fortunately, i could pick it out of my google account and realized it was orishirishi.blogs... The difference was the "sh" and not "s".

Why am i bothering with a wrong spelling abd just not opening the damn blog? I seriously don't know. Maybe I think in English by I am yoruba origin. Else, why spell a Yoruba word with English rules? (Note, There is no "h" in the youruba language.). Maybe someone has already used orisirisi.blog.. and i had to get a variant. I doubt that really but like not checking Ofilispeaks, i am not checking to confirm this.

I still don't know the purpose of the blog post. Let me just make it up. Hmmm. A perceived mistake or difference in people might really be a combination of past experiences which we should just respect. That explains my Yoruba/English spelling mix.

Maybe, we should not be ashamed when we forget things we really should not forget and realize everyone makes silly mistakes and like ofili says, our stupidity might be nearer to us.

You know what, I give up. There is no reason for this post. Me sef know. I just had to write. Maybe ofili's advise is great or not so.  You can write and not make sense but at least you don write.

Life , Chance and Faking It

I haven't written a blog in quite sometime. Many excuses can come to mind. But they are what they are. Excuses. Excuses are the order of the day now. It sounds politically correct to call them reasons. There was a reason the budget was passed late. There was a reason I supported PMB over GEJ. There was a reason why I drank a bottle of Star Raddler and there is definitely a reason I am ordering a Guiness stout now. There is always a reason or an excuse. Wow, all I wanted to say was I had not written in a long time. Writing is really like a walk in the park. It requires very little conscious thought. At least, not much when not writing a book like "Born on a Tuesday" or "Kane and Abel". I am sure a lot has happened in that long time. Met love and lost. Made money and spent. Had parties i probably did to keep appearance. Had a landmark election that has left so many Nigerians disillusioned. I wish I had blogged my thoughts at that time and compare them to my present mood. How fast our feelings change. I probably won't believe I wrote whatever I would read. I guess it is a good thing I didn't chronicle the events. Let my feelings at the time remain as blurry as the current government policies. This is not about politics. I believe I can hear all that when I sit in Sammies or at Dove resort. Dove is my recently discovered melting pot. They used to have a crane which just died. they still have a monkey they call Henry and a parrot which happily doesn't have a name. These days you could hear and learn unverifiable policies about politics everywhere. All Nigerians are now economists and policy strategists. I alread said this was not about politics so let me not get lost. Not even sure what it's all about. Let's just call it life and chance. I just made that up. Talk about thinking on your feet. Well, I am sitting so I guess I was thinking on my butt with my feet probable taking a share of the thinking load. So, what about Life & Chance. Life is what we have to do what ever we have done up to that point. We learn, we dine, we love, we cry, we laugh, we get betrayed and we also betray people. Oh well, I never said I was a saint. I remember my life about six years ago. It was quite a divergence from now. What am I saying? My life six months ago was quite divergent from now. I think I am quite a melancholic person now compared to six years ago. I am not sure what personality type that is but it sure sounds like the right one. Not even sure if that is the sad one or the happy one or the indifferent one. I am not even sure there is an indifferent personality. I am probably less melancholic than I was three months ago. And less melancholic than I was about an hour ago. It only gets better I guess. I wonder what happens to you when melancholy goes completely. I am still not sure melancholy is the right personality. Feel free to check sanguine and I think there are two others. I am probably one of the two I seem to remember. I want to write this without reference to google so I won't bore you with the other two or what they really mean. Google has its strength but also a very strong weakness. Have you noticed that we have become lazy and can barely spell. I have seen people refer to former as formal, weather as whether and probably Trump as Tromp (I actually misspelt whether and had auto correct to do it right. Se what I mean). I just made the last one about Trump up. I am on fire. My butt really makes me think. I will always write henceforth while sitting. Thinking about it, do I write while standing? Does anyone ever write while standing? I won't be surprised though. It is a strange world out there. I mean isn't it strange Donald Trump is doing so well? Isn't it strange Bernie gave Hilary a tough time? Isn't it even strange I am typing this pointless article? So, it means some people somewhere probably stand and write. Maybe some cultures in some country far far away. Maybe even a culture here in Nigeria. With over 250 languages, the probability just seems fair enough. I still don't know what I am writing about. I really shouldn't be making that confession. I earlier said I was writing about "Life & Chance". Yet, I haven't thought much about that. Well, all I wrote so far is somewhere in my head which makes it about my life. I think I must have been missing the faking it part of my life. I must have read somewhere that life is about faking it till you make it. If you want to be a writer, then fake it. If you want to be a sales man, then fake it. If you want to be the president, then fake it. That has happened a lot in Nigeria. I know a lot of presenters who probably faked it and we now believe they went to a school of journalism mostly far far away. I am not sure I know a president who did that successfully though. Oh well, like I said, it's a strange world out there. So, what should I fake to improve my chance on life? Here comes chance in my story. I really didn't plan that. Now, my title is "Life, Chance & Faking It". That seems more catchy. Now my blog has some life it. It is like splashing a dab of orange on a dull painting. I love orange. I don't know why. I find a reason to use it in my presentations, my articles and even my paint choices. Surprisingly, I have only one orange shirt and I bought it by chance. That's chance again coming in by chance. I guess life is about chance and faking it. Maybe life is about faking it and chance. The order seems to matter. You have to have something to fake when the chance comes I guess. The second sounds better. Faking it is like preparation meeting the opportunity. Opportunity now sounds like chance. I understand if you are confused now. I am writing without thinking much. Since I am writing without thinking, I just told myself I should stop. I would understand if you don't enjoy this blog. Like everything in life, it is obviously pointless and fake.

In da club

Nigerians are truly the happiest people in the world. Just check out the clubs on weekends and even weekdays when we have a free pass for drinks in Abuja. Maybe the richest in Africa too. I hear we burn mor champagne money than a praire on fire. A bottle of Hennessy in the club costs 18,0000. Market price is about 6,000.00 Naira. Red Label costs 13,000.00 Naira, market price is 2,600 Nigeria. Keep on walking Nigerians. For a country where we earn less than a dollar a day, you wonder where this people come from. Maybe not Nigerians. Sometimes, we even talk funny lingos. Maybe we are not from here. If i earn less than a dollar, how could i spend premium money on a temporary high. I think is time we start seeking for a permanent high that won't cost so much but would touch more lives. Albeit positively. I predict an increase in liver problems in te next 10 years. This would be my shortest blog I guess. It is linked to my thoughts on The One School Initiative. More on that soon. Summary, Nigerians need to stop wasting so much money while we subconsciously set ourselves on fire.

The One School Initiative

It is time to get serious. Enough errors, enough distractions, enough i cants. Time to get serious. This country is in dire need of help. We talk, complain, scream and criticize Government from now till the end of time. Every Nigerian has the solution to fix Nigeria. the only problem is we have not been allowed to wear GEJ's shoes. I guess the chance of that happening is quite slim. Well off course unless your name is Goodluck or you have the ears of the powers that be or you want to dedicate your life to politics. It is obvious we don't need to be in politics to change the system. We always believe the only way is politics. If it was a criteria to fixing Nigeria, then Nigeria would be awesome. I have nothing wrong with our politicians. Something within the system drives us to take selfish decisions. Not sure what. Not trying to find out now. Politics and Economics mix just varies from here to there. We need to find our own little way to assist. I picked education. I have found time to teach a primary school. Not like I have all the time in the world but I took it upon myself. I must say it was the best 2 weeks of my life and I did not get paid. Wow. Why not take it a step further. My friends and even enemies (i am sure they would put aside diferences) all showed interest in this cause. This made me realize, people want to help. We just miss out on involving them or probably are yet to find who to Bell the cat. There have been many NGOs and agencies trying to fix our health care and educational system. A big shout out to them. It is definitely not the easiest job in the world. Te OSI is designed to also support the educational system. However, it seems we have missed out something. A failure to transform public schools to private schools (half way won't be bad too). The government talks about a transformation agenda. A transformation is a complete change. We don't however transform situations. We just find ways to meliorate and patch things here and there. This is very noticeable in the education sector. there are NGOs who have provided books to schools, maybe uniforms or even sanitary materials. These can be considered laudable effort and like i earlier acknowledged their efforts. However, this not not help the transformation agenda cause. What the schools need is a complete over haul. It would surprise you n=to not that a primary school can be transformed with as little as 10,000,000.00. Ok, maybe i exaggerate, let us say 15,000,000.00. With that figure, you can buy new uniforms, books, computers, fix the infrastructure (buildings, toilets etc.). Let's even say it would cost 20,000,000.00 to fix a public school. Why do we frown from it. 300 children, 20M Naira. That is approximately 66,000 Naira per student per term. Don't forget, approximately 70% of this figure is a CAPEX. So it would not reoccur. Best we would do down the line is buy new uniforms, books and hopefully provide food. Probably spend another 5M Naira yearly to provide for 300 children. An average Nigerian in the middle class earn same a year and some earn as high as the earlier figure estimated to fix the school (20M Naira if you have forgotten). The next question is can we afford it? The truth is the future and stability of this nation and any nation depends on quality education. I can safely estimate that 80% of Nigerians go to public schools and the remaining 20% go to schools where they wear funny hats and blue ties. By the way, i like the hats but it is a signal of a private school that functions. I went to a private primary school back then but looking at our uniforms, there was really not much separating us from public schools. It seems the system has gone an extra mile in creating the US and THEM culture. We are conscious in showing all animals are not equal. It is sad to know the lower animals out-number the higher ones probably 8:2 (i estimate again) Mrs. Bertha Abumere an Educationist warned that the gulf between the rich and the poor would only get wider if something is not done about the public schools. We need to make a conscious effort to reduce the Us and Them divide before it gets too wide and find our loved ones on the wrong side. The OSI has 3 clear mandates: 1. Provide public schools with adequate infrastructure similar to private schools 2. Provide students with books and uniforms to encourage learning 3. Provide teacher support services from the middle class I believe these are the 3 missing links in fixing the public schools. The first two are so obvious but the 3rd might need further talks. It has already been observed that there is already a wide divide between the rich and the poor. This has crept into the educational sector. There is a need to consciously mix the middle class with school teachers. This is strictly a volunteer arrangement. I did it for 2 weeks and I did not get paid. As a matter of fact I paid by providing the children funding for materials and even did support the teacher through transportation. I have not remained the same ever since and I doubt any Nigerian will after such an experience. This is the last bit. We need to immerse ourselves in the problem else we would keep throwing money at a problem that never goes away. This is the summary of the One School Initiative. I would give you more details on what inspired the name and initiative. It is worth understanding where this journey started. yes, I jumped the gun but I am sure you get the point. I pray you all join this initiative in your own little corners soon. God bless you all.

20 Years Ago

20 Year ago, I got a job in Shell Nigeria. I was part of the project team working on a rig somewhere in the Swampy area of Delta State. We see kids running around with rounded kwashiorkor bellies staring at us and probably dreaming to be like us someday. They had beautiful names like Destiny, Faith, Gift and Boma. Beautiful names with beautiful dreams yet no plan to complement it all.

What do we do as Shell worker? We wave past and feel cool with our status as compared to theirs. 20 years later we have 20 year olds holding guns and killing people. 20 years ago, we could have stopped it by helping that kwashiorkor kid get a life. We chose to look the other way. Now, he has a gun and no education to put him in check.

By the way, 20 years ago, I was not in Shell and most definitely, I was not in the Delta region. A friend of mine was and part of my narration is based on his real life experience. I was too young to work but older than Destiny and obviously luckier. I was in a boarding school somewhere in the middle belt. Mine was a Nigerian dream. Well, partly. I choose to set the record straight in case Destiny or Boma remember the incident. Just be sure I was too young to have seen you hungry.

20 years later, it's amazing I don't have a gun too. We have our own type of guns too. The pen guns. Not like double-0-7. Much lethal. We rob entire countries with it. And worse still, we get away with it.


Now I live in the Delta region where everything seems to have gone wrong. Look at it like the human body with a hole in the heart. The body manages to survive by resting often and doing light tasks. However, Mr. Body fails to fix the problem by plugging the hole. Then one day, the heart fails and Mr. Body is in a critical state.

Nigeria has had a hole in the heart for a long time. The heart in this analogy is the Niger Delta. The heart is failing now. Let's hope it's not too late. There are many ways to fix a failing heart. A transplant is the only option if the heart don fail patapata. if e remain small, a surgery will do. (that if the doctor says it has not failed completely. who is the doctor? What stage are we in? Do we even have hope for surgery? Time will tell.

Who caused this problem? The oil companies blame Government, Government blame the Oil Companies, the Oil Companies all blame Shell. Shell in the middle.

Personally, I blame the Oil Companies. I wouldn't say Shell specifically but I am not impressed with the operations there either. They are the agents and it is the agents task to ensure a strategy is formulated to guide the company through the future. The agent had the responsibility to ensure a bright future for the principal 20 years ago. 20 years ago, the agents failed. The heart ticks on. Slowly but...

Nigerian Business Opportunities

I have been scanning the Nigerian environment for business opportunities and I can categorically say there are too many opportunities staring at us.

What is missing is the guts to take the bold step. I have a full time job which does not pay badly but I have made some money by the side a couple of times in between. I notice the more you earn in paid employment, the less time you have to earn more money outside. Talk about the opportunity cost of the choices we make. That means i make less money by the side now that i earn more on the inside.

So, what are the business opportunities I talk about? I have designed websites for clients. The return are not so great but 100k after a 2 week job is not bad money. I have sold Kilishi in Port-Harcourt as an experiment. And I think it should be categorized as a fast moving consumer good (FCMG). For those who don't know, Kilishi is a dry meat popular in the Northern part of Nigeria. The returns are as high as 30% if you plan the logistics efficiently. 30% return on a weekly investment is not bad business if you ask me. My weekly estimat is overstated. You can turn this around in two days.

Let's assume I loose my job (which takes too much of my time anyway) or I choose to resign (which crosses my mind even while I sleep), why can't I focus on my website business and also start my Kilishi export (without custom tariffs and delays - amen) by the side? The only excuse I see is belief in what you do. And also our get rich-quick mentality. I discussed my Kilishi idea with my brother in-law a few hours ago and he washed it down like a bottle of stout. Look at the McDonalds and Starbucks. The story is usually that simple. Look at the Virgin group. Even simpler. You need to appreciate his arbitrage strategy in filling up a plane.

Nigerians need to start looking around for missed opportunities. There are many out there other than selling Diesel and generators. The truth is many of this markets are saturated and the returns highly exaggerated. WHich explains the infiltration of adulterated products (China & Condensate). I believe our Abuja politicians have only succeeded in creating an illusion of wealth. Nigeria is not as rich as we like to believe. The good news is that we have so many opportunities to create wealth. Remember, wealth is created not conjoured like our natural resources. Think about countries like Japan who have no oil. How do they sustain themselves? Brain power baby. Nothing more. Nothing less.

I know my suggestion sounds to simplistic and we have too many hurdles to cross. For one, Government's lack of transparency. That is a challenge if you choose to pursue Government opportunities. The problem is that Government opportunities as it is is not wealth creation but wealth depletion. Look at my Kilishi business. Buy at X naira, sell at X+Y Naira. You get the point. Chase opportunities that require minimal Government interference (apart from taxes). That should be your strategy.


This is my suggestion to us all. Let's try and increase the size of the cake rather than think the cake is fixed in size and cannot be increased.

You wonder why i tell you about my Kilishi opportunity. It is not a secret. People were doing it before me. And some will after me (maybe many). The problem is patience and a properly structured business plan which guarantees return well into the future. I can tell you what I do but that does not guarantee you can do it the way I do it. The market is big for us all. And as they say, the more the merrier. If you choose to saturate my market, no problem. Time to scan the environment again. As I said in the beginning,there are way too many opportunities to make the cake larger.

The Nigeria we should love

I am a Nigerian and I am proud. I have had the last two years to reflect on my life and really ask myself questions about who I really am and what I want to spend the rest of my life doing. Ironically, this is coming at a time when people think I am living a better life since I earn more money. The grass is always greener they say. Like economics always say, there is no free lunch.

Now I have an idea of what I want to do. Take not of the word "idea". Life is ever changing and I might just tell you something else tomorrow. Take take as a disclaimer of my choice of direction and not a sign of indecision. That's confusing.

I have been privileged to work in the public sector and the private sector. reflection on both tell me the public sector offers more challenges and room for adventures. Using the US Army adage, you can "Be all you can be".

I don't want that interest to die so I am going to write whatever i can about the Nigerian Government. No criticism. Just what I feel they do and how we can communicate it all to Nigerian both home and abroad. I must confess that I have some critical blogs out there already. That was then. This is now. This is the time for the optimists.

I love this country. It is all I have known. No point denying it. We have our short comings. So do the best of the best.

I suggest we start loving this country for what it is. That is only when we can make true progress. As a matter of fact, start loving yourselves. Life is short. We come and go but Naija remains for life. Amen.

Education vs Electricity – The 1-Point Agenda

A friend of mine posted a comment on facebook a couple of days ago. “Y cant the govt reduce the 7 point agenda to just 1? and let it be "ELECTRICITY"...if yar adua achieves that in his period as president..good. (sic). I responded “Y not education?”.

This looked like a simple discussion/ observation between two friends. As usual, someone else had a comment to add. No be Facebook.


“I believe electricity first and then education second...The electricity will give room for access to quality education online n offline...God created the world before creating the people. He didn't create people before the world...If education comes first, it will still suffer when electricity is not in place...do u get?

Don't ask me what has education got to do with electricity..You know that already... “ (sic)

I sent a mail to my friend. I will try and dig it up. Needless to say, I was upset at the response. I thought the write was blatantly rude and did not deserve any other comments. I responded by sending a mail to my friend directly to express my feelings. He shared my views. At least that I was made to believe.

My response in summary was that his friend (who was not my friend though i was disappointed to find him on my friend list) was rude and obviously not that well educated. If he was, he would have learnt how to communicate with people he did not know presonally. Facebook or not.


I see a challenge with how we view education. Something tells me we are all stuck with UNIVERSITY education. And maybe SECONDARY school. We seem to forget education at the very low level has crumbled as well. I am not sure how much electricity we need at those levels. We call the children the leaders of tomorrow but we try to fix electricity at the expense of having no leaders groomed to manage the electricity we would have pumped billions into. What would be the result of that? We have already seen it. That is why Efose (Efose responded to the blog as well) runs out of her house. I just dug up the mail i sent to my friend unedited.

I don't appreciate your friend's comment on facebook.

"i believe electricity first and then education second...The electricity will give room for access to quality education online n offline...God created the world before creating the people. He didn't create people before the world...If education comes first, it will still suffer when electricity is not in place...do u get?

Don't ask me what has education got to do with electrictity..You know that already..."

My initial reaction was to respond as below:

"Ok sir. Sorry, but do I know you? I believe there are nicer ways to talk to people you have not met. Even if you have. Now you see why I say education first. ELectricity won't teach you good manners. An that goes a long way.

But I felt that should stay between me and you. Please try and advice him to learn to talk to people politely."

We all know how good electricity was when we were growing up? So, where did it all go wrong? Until we can answer that question, I really see why Yar Adua has challenges fixing it. I totally agree, electricity is important but can anyone tell me how much electricity you require in primary & secondary (non-boarding house i guess). i think education is easier to attack. And why has it been difficult to fix electricity? They are both emergencies to me. Whatever side of the debate you choose, I believe this discussion can forever be handled maturely and politely. I can't remember my rude friend's friend's name. I might just wan you to avoid him. I think it had "Freak" in it. What a rude freak he turned out to be.

All in 2 days work

I received a call yesterday evening though closer to afternoon from a friend who was holed up in the police station. I had been trying to call him all day but could now reach him for reasons clearer to me.

What was the charge? Beating up his neighbor over issues that are not really worth talking about. It is worthy to note that this was the third time this was happening. it is also worthy to note that the neighbor was a lady. I brought this last because man or woman, reporting would have still occurred. That whole stuff I wrote sounds not like correct English.


My current job status is very predictable and most boring. An opportunity to see my friend at the police station even if it was just to see somewhere out of the ordinary was just worth it.

I arrived at the police station after crawling through the old Aba road old up and turning round through Slaughter. For those who know where these places are, you would have guessed I am in the Garden City. A strange name for a town so unkempt. As Shakespeare always says, "A rose by any other name " would smell the same.

On arrival at the station, I met officer Basil. I think that was his name. A dozen young police women. I am not sure why the police seems to employee so many young under-privileged pretty girls. I would prefer not to make any conclusions. I just remembered, I met officer Basil last. My first welcome was a fellow with a machine gun. Dunno the difference between and AK 47 and whatever other machines we have but I know a machine gun when it hangs like that.

Mr. Machine Gun greeted my nicely and enquired what my visit was all about. I told him. He then asked me if I wanted to see him. I told hin "yes". This is too good to be true. I thot these guys were really bad. I then called office Basil who I had been communicating with for some time via my friends mobile phone. We established contact through a broken window while Mr. MachineGun stood firmly by my side to watch. Is this protocol or what? I told Basil I would be back and my new machine friend was taking me over to see my not so old woman beater friend. Half way to the cell, he made me understand my fee was "5h" to see my friend. I though he meant five thousand Naira which was one thousand Naira short of the fee requested to bail out my not so old friend.

I forgot to mention that. When my friend called to inform me of the situation, the fee was put at six thousand Naira. SIX TASAND naira as my former colleague Uche would scream. Let's be realistic, bail is not free. Let them not stop wasting our tax payers money sending this signal. At the time this value was reached, my friend was still sitting behind a counter. That is just a figue of speech because I am sure there was no counter there. There were 5 tables manufactured in different timezones and belonging to different generations. The office partition was impressively poor. And the partitioned office belonged to the D.P.O and one other D fellow. I can't remember the other two letters that make his case special. Not much of an office but I guess this was there world.

The police lacked professionalism and seemed like they were trained guerrillas with no sense of purpose to serve and protect. People were treated as criminals once within the station. I got scared I could be mistaken for one of the unfortunate guilty ones. I was at a point. I think it was more like a bully picking a fight. A very skinny police woman attacked me while reading a poster for recruitment of police officers which had closed 6 months earlier. She shouted at me and wanted to know if I was a policeman since i was reading the poster. I did not realize an advert for recruitment of policemen had to be read by an already recruited police officer. duh. Like I said, this was like a dog picking a fight. So I quitly worked over to a bench. I think the right word to use is cowardly. I no wan receive beating. At least not for someone else's offense and definitely not for reading an expired job ad. The poster was professionally made. Very unlike the occupants and the environment. I guess the thought of loosing the only semblance of professionalism was just too much to bear.

I sat down across the bench like i intended to play ludo with an imaginary friend across. Then another dog picked a fight and asked me I should either sit and face them or face the table which was positioned by a wall. I chose the easier option and faced the wall. I mean the table.


At this point Basil came over and told me the D.P.O said his fee had risen to 20,000 naira. WHo says these guys don't understand economics. They understand both economics and human behaviour. No one wants to sleep in a cell with fellow strangers who you might have a lot in common with by morning. Once it gets late, supply of time dimishes which raises the price. Something like that. That is why we got a 300% inflation.

I would cut a long story short. My friend slept in the cell all night. Actually a portakabin in the police premises. I wonder how much that cost tax payers. I seriously think it served him right. Not because he beat a woman. Just because he beat someone. I have missed a big part of this story. I mean the fact that his neigbour the reporter was at at the station as well begging for his release. I think she should be Florence Nightingale re-incarnate. I don't understand this law thing but i do watch a lot of movies. If you don't press charges then you ain't guilty. That's what i thought. Now, I am not sure anymore.

Well, that's how 2 days went by. I must confess it was fun to break my regular pattern and pay the police a visit. My regular pattern is boring and I would prefer to leave it undiscussed. If you look through my blogs, you might have an idea. It makes me believe life is fun when random and uncertain.

Make I go finish my Managerial Economics assignment. Na that one go get mark. Still struggling with Marginal cost and marginal revenue. I wonder why those guys just can't speak plain English.

Valentine Day: A flash of romance

14th February 2009
This title came to me shortly after I called a female friend (i prefer not to call her my girl friend)on Valentine Day night. I just wanted to pop her a visit but realized she had a Valentine date. On any other day, she would have been available. Then I started wondering. Why do we move with the herd and why do we like quick fixes. Why can't we find that higher purpose?

Nobody wants to be left out of the show. I feel life starts when we can start feeling comfortable being by ourselves (like me right now on Val night). My current state is complicated though that is not what i say on Facebook.

We need to find ourselves a higher purpose. A purpose that has no link to dependence on others. A purpose that makes us stay awake no matter what. I feel that's what's missing in our lives. Everyone wants a relationship and a job that pays the bills. What happens when you loose either. Or worse both. Three years ago, I lived a life where I had all my friends around me and thought I was special. I realize you are as special as long as you are close by. You know how much life means when you go away from it all and have to be by yourself. That is what I am doing now. And the result has been scary. People forget you fast. That is why I don't take this Val thing seriously. It is all artificial. If you love someone, I suggest you ignore Val day. It makes the person look cheap. I see headlines like "Renew your love". Renew? As in it had expired or something. That is so so not right. You either love or not. I don't even know what Love means anymore.

Someone says I love you so much and a period of trauma and its all gone.If love was real, then there would be no breakups and divorces. Yet someone is doing that as I write (on Val day). You would be shocked how explosive their previous Val was. Something within us just craves for companionship as long as you can strike the right chords. Be you married or not. You always hear nice comments once you are within reach. It has nothing to do with you. I has much to do with your presence.

Life should not be managed because we seem to have no choice. We do have a choice and a higher purpose. Don't settle for companionship. That is your number 2 priority. Your number one is to find your life's true purpose. Take note of the word "Find". That way, you cannot feel alone. You have to keep on till you find it. When do you find it? When you are dead I guess.

What's Going on at the Bureau of Public Procurement?

Fellow Nigerians, I need clarification on what goes on at the Bureau of Public Procurement. The Procurement Act was signed to law in 2007 and I am yet to see seriousness in carrying out their function in helping bridge the unfair gap between the public and private sector.

For those who don’t know what I am talking about, you are forgiven. It’s not your fault at all. I suspect the Bureau does not exist. Actually, it does. Well, they have an office somewhere in the villa. I paid them a visit a few weeks ago and totally disappointed was I.

My impression of the bureau is the impression I have of the power wielded by the CBN in the financial sector. The BPP is meant to act as the law enforcer for Ministries, Departments and Agencies (MDAs) in ensuring fairness in public procurement. I suspect an average employee of the agency is yet to read the Act or else, why are they sleeping. This is just like NAFDAC acts as an enforcement agency in food and drugs control. I am sure NAFDAC needs no introduction. You see what I mean?

My visit was anything but memorable. It seemed like an agency set up for no reason and no purpose. There seemed to be nothing going on. There was no external visitor during my 1 hour visit to the agency. Well, there was one visitor who happened to be in search of a job. I wish him all the best. I wish him and millions of Nigerian youths well.

I was unable to extract any meaningful information from the agency to assist me in my research gathering exercise. I was told I had to get explicit permission from the DG. I have not heard from the agency since my visit on the 19th of September 2008. At least someone in the agency must be very busy. As a matter of fact, I had to run out and type a formal letter to the DG to make a formal request to gain access to information I really think has no impact on national security. If an agency that claims to promote transparency in public procurement does not seem to have any level of transparency in-house, my fellow Nigerians, we need to worry. Maybe this is due to the delay in signing the freedom of information (FoI) bill. That’s a fair excuse. I have no legal right to PUBLIC procurement enquiries. The government is sure taking us on a long ride.

The primary argument for setting up the BPP is to help reduce the high level of corruption due to the obvious fact that corruption in the public sector is due to the lack of transparency in award of contracts. The BPP should be an agency on fire at this trying moment in our country’s history. As a matter of fact, the fear of the BPP should be the beginning of wisdom as far as public sector procurement is concerned. Just as the fear of the EFCC is (was) the beginning of wisdom for corrupt public officials. Right now, the fear of court injunction seems to be the beginning of wisdom for the EFCC. How the tables have turned.

The BPP has a common objective with the EFFC as both agencies have to fight corruption in the public sector. This is not very obvious and I suspect this might not be unconnected to the choice of agency names. Who would have thought the BPP is a corruption fighting agency. The main difference I observe is that while the EFCC fights corruption after the facts, the BPP prevents those opportunities from happening in the first place. In other words, the BPP if functioning properly should reduce the work load of the EFCC.

Based on this thinking, I expected to see a BPP office buzzing with activity and computers analyzing procurement records for anomalies, monitoring purchase trends across MDAs, performing correlation measures between public expenditure saving and job creation opportunities for upcoming SMEs. Jack Baur would have been envious. I envisioned an organisation with hundreds of procurement specialists grinded in the art of procurement processes preparing reports and recommendations based on findings gathered from procurement audit exercises at their designated MDAs. I envisioned publicly available reports on progress made by MDAs and possibly punitive actions recommended for defaulting agencies. The last vision would surely be a dream come true. I pictured a leadership who are at least as visible as leadership found in NAFDAC and the EFCC. Sadly, this is not the reality.

Maybe I am wrong. Maybe that’s not what the Bureau is all about. Or maybe there is a deliberate attempt not to do their duties. If I am not wrong, what is wrong? I am sure the president would be happy if you take your rightful role in moving Nigeria from where we are now to where we should be. The problem is that we do not know where we want to be. Our various visions are not even clear to us. For starters, we have like five different visions. Vision 2010, millennium goal, Vision 2020 and NEEDs. Is this an attempt to confuse us or is it a conscious attempt to build up excuses why the visions all fell apart when we look back? We would see our president in 12 years time making a speech telling us “Fellow Nigerians, the visions were too many, hence too fuzzy”. We are very sorry (Nigerians are a forgiving people). Let’s thank God we are still here to try again. (Our leaders know we love God and believe all our inefficiencies are always translated to all sorts of spiritual explanations)”.

Is that it? We are forgetful, extremely gullible and overly spiritual. We would soon hear of vision 2050 (please be patient). Or is it vision 20XX (we don’t even know when) or even vision XXXX (not in any life time). Please, the last option was not a serious suggestion.

The BPP reports to the ministry of finance, so you have strong support base. I am sure the minister would be glad to implement your ideas if recommended. I have been privileged to work within his organisation(s) and he is a confirmed progressive. He also worked in the CBN so I am sure your role as a supervisory body would be easy to put to practice.

I read some existing articles on setting up of the Bureau of Public Procurement in Nigeria and I conclude that: “Nigerians do forget”. Let me extract some for your edification. Note that some of these are reports and whatever recommendations were made are in the Procurement Act itself.

A report by Mr. S.A. Ekpenkhio, permanent secretary, political affairs, the presidency (16th January, 2003)
· “All the elements that enhance efficiency reliability and continuity of the system have been tampered with resulting in major and severe set backs for the conduct of Government business… … …” Furthermore, the President observed and emphasized that transparency in Government procedures was necessary to usher in “a great and dynamic economy” to ensure “a just and egalitarian society”.

· Government accepted the CPAR (Country Procurement Assessment Report) in its entirety with the exception of the Registration of Contractors and the involvement of Political Office holders such as Ministers/ Commissioners in the award of contracts in excess of fifty million Naira which the report was against. (I must confess, I am not sure what that means)

· the streamlining of Tender Boards and strengthening their functional authority, including powers to award contracts; (great)

· Permanent Secretary to approve contracts of works, services and purchases up to N1,000,000.00 (approximately U.S. $7,937.66); (not a lot of money and seems to counter the previous point)

· A delegation of the Steering Committee undertook a two-week study tour of the United States of America under the sponsorship of the US Department of Commerce. The delegation visited specialized procurement institutions and held discussions on management of procurement in a multi-sectoral and deregulated economy. (I am sure it was a worthy experience. Have their recommendations been fully implemented?)


· The bill will provide adequate legal institutional framework and financial mechanism to achieve the laudable goals of government in its efforts to enthrone transparency, accountability and equal access to public sector procurement. (How does the legal framework fit with court injunctions? What are court injunctions anyway?)

· When established, the BPP will act as an oversight body independent of the Tender Boards; ensure the efficiency and effectiveness of procurement functions across the public sector. (this is a very big role indeed. So why are you so quiet?)

· Monitoring of the procurement environment; (I am not sure the BPP is clear on how to approach this function)

· For full report, please visit http://www.wto.org/english/tratop_e/gproc_e/wkshop_tanz_jan03/nigeriacase3_e.doc

Mr. S.A. Ekpenkhio’s report is commendable and I can sincerely feel his vision. So what is wrong?

Now, these are excerpts from a presentation by Professor Kunle Ade Wahab Special Adviser to The President And Head, Budget Monitoring & Price Intelligence Unit (September 28, 2006)
· A survey conducted by the Obasanjo administration shortly on assumption of office revealed that before May 29, 1999, Nigeria must have lost an average of forty billion naira annually through all kinds of manipulation of the procedure for award and execution of public contracts.(are we saving 40 Billion naira now? Remember the power project? If the figures quoted were correct, then we are worse than we were in 1999. About 600 Billion Naira from the power project alone I think and that is being conservative)
· These manipulations were open in the form of inflation of contract costs, use of contract system to divert public funds to private pockets, award of contracts for ghost projects …. (Do people read these documents? I forgot. Nigerians forget quickly. Hope you haven’t forgotten the power project? I wonder how involved the BPP was in the procurement of N80 billion naira worth of rice. I assume that is part of your procurement monitoring process.)
· Objectives
o To determine whether or not Due Process has been observed in the Procurement of services & contracts (Hmmm. Remember the power project?)
o To introduce more honesty, accountability & transparency into the Procurement Process (Okay. That is straightforward)
· In order to make this process clear and simple to all spending agencies of the Federal Government, we designed and published a check-list of processes and documents required for reviews and certification of any public contract to be paid for with public funds. (I am still looking for the checklist. It is probably online somewhere. I just have not found it. Oh, I forgot. The FoI bill is pending. Now, I get it.)
· Contracts above fifty million are to be submitted to the BMPIU by the MDAs for what we call full review and certification before it is sent to the Federal Executive Council for approval. (They must have missed that power project.)
· We enjoy strong and stoic support from Mr. President, Chief Olusegun Obasanjo without whom we can hardly achieve much. This is because no capital project at the federal level can be paid for without a due process certificate issued by the BMPIU. (600 vs 40 Billion. We surely hardly achieved much)
· The Challenge before the Unit in the implementation of this policy at the moment is how to spread the message of the reforms to all states and local governments in Nigeria. (I agree. But, why is it a challenge?)
· The concern remain that unless these tiers of government emulate and adopt the reforms, the expected impact on the economy and the standard of living of an average Nigeria would remain difficult to achieve. This is because while the Federal Government gets 48% from the share of the resources, the states and local governments get 52%. (It’s not that. I think it is those court injunctions. Sorry, court protections)
· ….. I therefore use this forum to plead with the State Governors to give the reforms the needed political will to take off in their states. (You have to beg? These fellows are making your job difficult. How do we proceed?)
· … It also provides for the creation of a Public Procurement Bureau to regulate public procurement in Nigeria. The House of Representatives is almost set to pass the Bill into law any moment from now the Bill comes up for its third reading (Yippee. We made some progress. I have been there.)
· There is more to see. Please, visit

By now, I hope you all have an idea what the public procurement Act and the BPP were created to achieve. The excerpts above exhibit sincerity of purpose by the above citizens who I am certain meant well. At a point, the professor had to plead with our Governors. I feel his pains. Only if he had known the power project would be a charade, he won’t have opened up his heart.

The vision for the country if the BPP does its job right is that of a master piece portrait. The good news is that we are the artists and have the opportunity to paint the picture as best as we can. The bad news is that we have not bought the canvas yet. If we have, we probably procured the wrong type or the wrong size. BPP, please take note. We still have time to correct these mistakes. Let’s not wait for 20XX to start dishing explanations.

I implore you all to show concern for events happening in our country. Try and read the Procurement Act 2007, the NEEDS document and the many visions and let us try and make sense of them. There might be a reason for these multiple visions. We have to find out ourselves. I was probably wrong on the multi-vision approach as I am yet to read it (them). I don’t even have an idea which agency owns the management/ monitoring of the vision. We need to find out more. We owe ourselves that responsibility.

We need to leave something worthy for our children and grand children. And, I don’t mean money because that is all we worry about. I mean wealth (Yes, there is a difference). I mean a quality of life (QoL) worthy of emulation (we are currently ranked below the 100th position worldwide on this measure). I refer to memories that would make us smile in our graves. Let’s save this country before we run out of time. We seem to forget we would all die someday and these monies are not going to the cemetery with us (unless you are contesting for the NDDC leadership position). I hate to be the one to tell you this but I would die someday, you would too. So, kini big deal?

Let’s SWOT Nigeria

I have read various articles in the Nigerian newspapers for as long as I can remember. I am sure many of us have read many of these articles too. The articles usually boarder around the inefficiencies of our government, failure to deliver the promised dividend of democracy, corruption and plenty plenty plenty. The problem I observe is that these articles focus on only a single aspect of an organisation’s strategic challenges. It’s weaknesses. No organisation would survive if it keeps on like this.

I think it is time we do a SWOT analysis on our father land Nigeria.

I am sure a SWOT analysis is not new to many of us. Especially those who work in the business environment. For those who are not familiar with it, SWOT refers to Strength, Weakness, Opportunity and Threats. Every organisation periodically needs to identify areas that affect this four. The purpose is to get a common sense view of the organisations performance and make common sense deductions. Nigeria is no exception to this rule. At least we all know its weaknesses. A SWOT analysis is not an exercise in futility. The primary purpose is to identify your weaknesses and see how you can convert them to strengths and also see how you can convert threats to opportunities. In fact some strengths even have underlying weaknesses. For instance, an organisation with excessive cash in the bank implies many things. They might be under investing, they might not be managing the treasury efficiently by taking advantage of financial investments opportunities. They might even conclude that the treasury department is not as competent as they should be and needs overhauling. As a matter of fact, a SWOT might make you realize that you have more strength than you have chosen to identify. Now I hope you understand, let us SWOT Nigeria.

Let’s start with strengths. This is primarily due to the fact that S comes first. Sorry all pessimists who focus on weaknesses first. I guess putting S first is intended to create an air of optimism. Hmmm, We are not as bad as we thought.




Strength:
· We are the most populous black nation. That is something we all know even though we don’t know how many we really are. This is a huge strength because there is strength in numbers. Well, there has to be.
· We have a diversified culture. Contrary to popular belief, this really has its strength. The strongest organisations usually possess all sorts of skills within it.
· We are rich in natural resources. Ok, we are rich in oil. The largest producer in Africa. Ok, we used to be. Being number 2 should also be considered a strength. I never knew Angola had so much oil.
· We have land mass. Yes, we do have excessive land mass. Zimbabwe should dwarf us in the agricultural sector. Well, they do now. Thanks to Mugabe. But at there very best, we were grossly inefficient. I think I am jumping into weaknesses here. I wish I could tabulate these observations. It would have been easier to understand.
· We have a brand. Weather we like it or not, we do have a brand. Who does not know Nigeria anywhere? We would talk more about this later.
· We have extremely intelligent individuals. Take note of individuals though. Talk to an average Nigerian and you would get a full analysis of our country. Even though the focus is usually on weaknesses. We even have a Nobel Laurette. We have a booker prize winner. We have a computer genius recognized worldwide. Did you know the Big Brother 2 house was designed by a Nigerian. Professor Omotoso I think. You see what I mean? All the way in South Africa. The problem is we are individuals not a group.
· We are extremely optimistic people. We still believe Nigeria will be great someday. No matter how bad things get, we get hope well well.

We can go on and on about our strengths. We have many and when we do realize so, we might as well start talking about them. America has its weaknesses too. But watch an average American movie and it reels of hope, a unified nation, a nation where you leave no one behind and definitely a nation where you can be all you can be.

Compare this to Nigerian movies. We don’t preach a theme that could make us collective and productive. We talk about juju, polygamy and sadly corruption. Yes, this is who we are but we need to start portraying who we really need to be. I was talking to a Zimbabwean recently and her understanding of Nigeria was based on these home videos. Yes, I said Zimbabwean. The censor board needs to try and re-address these issues before we loose our values completely.

Now to our weaknesses
· We are corrupt. No surprises here. Transparency international rates us as one of the most corrupt nations in the world. We are currently rated 121. the good news might be that we are not alone. Four other countries are with us on this position. Nepal, Sao Tome, Togo & Vietnam. Talk about a photo finish.The bad news is that Ghana is rated 67, Gabon is 96, South Africa is 54. Please note that 121 is worse than 67. The higher the worse. Are we really the giants of Africa? To be more direct, we are extremely corrupt
· We are greedy: Grab all we can. Don’t bother asking why or how much.
· Unemployment rate is high. No figures to quote but who thinks otherwise? Remember this is a SWOT no need to get too analytical.
· We are not future oriented. Our leaders have no clue what we will be in 5 years time. They don’t even have a clue about tomorrow. What legacy are we leaving behind? All those things just don’t matter. What can I chop now. I need to buy that house in Dubai. That’s even going too far. We have started buying houses in Ghana.
· Money defines us. A Nigerian is as important as his net worth. Who cares? We have no interest in intellect. We don’t see the gains. At least immediately. What a waste of 120 million people. Nigerian movies, please take note. You make it worse.
· Our Academy has collapsed completely. We really have no clue on the impact of this to the future of our children and grand children. I can’t paint it here. Let’s leave it to our imagination. All I can say is that it is completely gruesome. We have computer science graduates still being lectured on Fortran. Worse of all, the programs are written on paper. We have accounting graduates who have no clue what accrual and cost accounting refers to. My God.
· Our value systems have failed us completely. We have parents in high places who steal public funds like that were the primary job description. Their kids enjoy this booty and see nothing wrong with it. You rarely find a kid whose parents hold high position living a frugal life. They flaunt it and we just can’t do anything about it. As a matter of fact, being their friends is also flaunted with pride. Values like honesty, fairness, diligence to duty just don’t exist any more.
· We have a weak brand. Tell a foreigner you are a Nigerian and you are in for it. 419 springs to mind. Aggressiveness follows suite. That is really how the world sees us. Yes, everyone knows us. But they do so for the wrong reasons. The sad part is that we live in self denial. We have leaders who pretend these flaws don’t exist. By the way these same leaders have their kids schooling and living in countries with a more favourable corruption index. Even Ghana. I know a previous Governor whose son schooled in Ghana and was eventually kicked out after the egunje option ran out. I hope our level of corruption has not started to hunt us. Level of corruption is positively correlated to the behaviour of our kids. Maybe if we can prove this. Maybe they just might stop. Ooops, I forgot, we have no values.



I hate to go on about our weaknesses. I am beginning to sound like all the other articles. Now I get it. There are so many weaknesses and it hurts so much we just keep on talking and writing about them. Maybe I have missed a weakness. Our leadership fails us. Our leadership has not been sincere. That could easily be deduced from some of the weaknesses. That’s the beauty of SWOT.

Opportunities
Now let’s look at the opportunities out there.
· Globalization. The trend in globalization over the years have definitely trickled our way. Access to information and education in countries that still take it seriously. We now have access to technologies that would have otherwise eluded us. Are we taking advantage of it? We have lecturers who don’t use these facilities at their optimum. We have government who can reach the people more easily using these cost effective options. Rather than create websites that could address these communication flaws, we are more interested in awarding bloated contracts for websites that add no value. I heard of a government website that cost 40 million naira. I won’t tell the URL. I also came across a website recently that belonged to a current minister of states for one of our ministries. I was utterly impressed. He really wanted to reach out and fix the Nigeria problem. I sent him an email on some of my observations and I was surprised when I got a reply two hours later. It all comes down to sincerity of our leaders.
· Increasing oil prices. In the 70s, Gowon said that we had too much money but we had challenges spending it. Then the boom went away and we surely did not know how to spend it. Fast forward to Now. The boom is here again and it seems the story has not changed. Someone said Gowon was too young at the time. A little trivia for you all. How old was Gowon when he was president? Your discovery would shock you. I am not sure if age was the problem anymore. How old was IBB? How old was OBJ? and how old is Yar Adua? There must be other factors beyond age and beyond Mr. President. Let’s not look back and repeat the 70s oil boom wastage. We shouldn’t make the same mistake twice.
· We have land mass, we have people. Agriculture offers us an opportunity for growth like never before. We all know the Malaysia story. It is beginning to sound like a legend though. Was it real? We talk about it like we all saw them come and we saw them carry those seedlings away. Maybe they took the best seedlings. Maybe that is it.
· We have negotiating power. I hate to break it down to you but we have the resources to make demands. The world needs us. Don’t let them bluff you. The oil companies need us. They would have left if they did not. With all the kidnapping, they still hang around. The problem is the government agencies. NNPC / NAPIMS/ DPR are all working in their self interest. Do a research on Oman and the realities will shock you. They protect their country like it belonged to the individuals that work there. In summary, they are patriotic. Are we telling us we are getting the best deals from the Oil companies? Do they have oil spills in Saudi Arabia, Oman & America the way we have here? The truth is that our official cut corners and the oil companies choose to play along. Any business man would do the same I guess. But what happened to corporate social responsibility? Academic I guess. The bottom line is that we have negotiating power. Thank God for Oil. But what are we doing about it while we can?
· We have a huge number of experienced Nigerians in diaspora. We have the best of the best Africans gaining huge experience in developed countries. The irony is that they left because we refused to function. But we can turn the tides if we sincerely want them to come back. Nigerians love home and are very proud of being here. Like we realized everyone tries to work in their self interest so we can’t blame them. Obasanjo did it by bringing in the Okojo-Iwealas. Well, for a while then things started falling apart. If you bring in people based on values then that is what you get. They don’t dance. Period. I am yet to see a similar initiative by Yaradua. I hope it is not an indication not to change the status quo. All we hear are the same old same old names. Are we not tired of below par performance from our leaders. Mr President, you are as good as the people you employ. We have a vision 2020 with a happily after ending, yet, we have no knights in shining armour. Who are we fooling?


Threats
· Globalization. Make no mistake about it, globalization has its challenges too. Please don’t eat all you are offered. Everyone one works in his self interest. So do countries. We hosted Professor Eric Maskin recently who won the Nobel Laurette in economics for 2007. He argued that globalization widens the gap between the rich and the poor countries and also ends up degrading the environment. Think about it, if I employ you to take care of my house because you do it most efficiently, I would still do better with my house than yours. As a matter of fact my primary objective is to make my house better off. Like everything in life, there are drawbacks. We need to look at globalization and provide a win-win position. It explains the current focus on local content in the Oil & Gas industry. But, are we looking deep enough?
· Poor Academia: Still connected with globalization, we would need to provide the work force that can compete with the world. If we open our shores as it is now, we would be robbed. As it is, we are completely inexperienced and unprepared to compete. If we eat globalization in its totality, WE WILL LOOSE.
· Poor Infrastructure: Same argument. WE WILL STILL LOOSE. Our leaders need to understand that we are cutting off our noses in order to spite our face. What’s the connection? I am not sure. I just like saying it.
· Abundant Natural Resources: Oil seems to be a cause to us. Let’s call it the abundance paradox. How do we convert this threat into and opportunity and the strength it rightfully deserves.
· Poor Leadership: Yes you can repeat similar observations. It usually seems like a repetition and maybe a challenge in differentiating between the SWOTs. The rule of thumb is that if you find a recurrent theme, then it could lead to a strategic issue that needs attending to. Leadership here cuts across. I don’t refer to Mr. President. I refer to all our decision makers. However, “the buck stops at his table”


Now we have completed the academic exercise of SWOTing our country, let us try and construct a strategic issue facing Nigeria.

Nigeria is a country abundant in human and natural resources with a high dependence on Oil as a strong contribution to GDP. The country however lacks human capital and would face serious challenges if we swallow globalization on face value. The country has failed to deliver the dividend of democracy through sincere and forward thinking leaders who don’t their country first.

I believe this summarizes the long thing I listed above beautifully termed SWOT. What a waste of time. Who doesn’t know this is our strategic problem?

When an organisation works out a strategic summary like this, the next question to ask is “What can we do to eliminate these threats and weaknesses”?

· Our leaderships needs to be sincere and get people who can do the job
· We need to address the academia. I think this is of higher priority than the power sector.
· We need to provide the necessary infrastructure to attract foreign investments and also improve efficiency locally. In other words increase our GDP from other sectors and improve our quality of life. I hear Nigerians all the time say if the Government can provide constant power, they are fine to do the rest. I totally agree. That is the least you can do for us.

The order of the above is deliberate and is listed in order of importance. Let’s call it precedence. If leadership is not sincere, then let’s kiss the other issues good bye. We see the decline in many states over the years and it all comes down to LEADERSHIP. We all love to compare Cross River State under Donal Duke to many other states. And it still comes down to LEADERSHIP. Provide good leadership and every other thing will follow.

As a matter of fact, the president’s job is just too easy. All he has to do is put the people who can act and understand what the problems are in the RIGHT places. The problem we have is in his power to take such decisions. Please Mr President, act now before the organisation we call Nigeria declines so badly we would need to be acquired. Sadly, by some of our leaders who would be richer than their country. Mobutu Sese Seko proved that it can happen.


Some bonus for you all. A few quotes from Brave Heart. You remember that movie?
I know. I know you can fight. But it's our wits that make us men.
There's a difference between us. You think the people of this country exist to provide you with position. I think your position exists to provide those people with freedom. And I go to make sure that they have it.

I have an injunction

I have been looking around for a court injunction. Is it a thing? Is it a an action? Is it something I can buy off the street? I ask because I really don’t know.

I have asked a couple of lawyers and I am not sure they know too. They probably do but Nigeria turns these things on their head so everyone gets confused.

I have a lot of respect for Nigerian politics. For one, it makes us learn new words and phrases. We got to learn about “step aside”, “immunity”, and now the poplar “injunction”. When new words or should I say old words with new meanings crop up, they are designed to protect a public official who obviously has something to hide.

Why else would a Governor need a court injunction in order not to appear in court. If he has nothing to hide, why avoid going to court?

I refer to the former Governor of Rivers state, Dr. Peter Odili. I mention his name because I notice people usually can’t. Especially the media. They make indirect hints but no direct references. Is that part of the injunction? I am beginning to understand what an injunction means. How do you get those injunctions? I need to get myself one. Every public official needs to. You never know when it would come in handy. Just keep it in your wallet. It just might be a card like your drivers license. “Mr. Akinosho, we need to pick you up an ask you a few questions”: “Oh, I am sorry, I have a court injunction”: “Can we see it?”: “Sure, no problem”.

How Borisade & Fani-Kayode would be biting their fingers now. Why didn’t they get one of those injunctions? I mean, they should have some right to it too.

Nigerians awaited the drama after the second tenure of most of the Governors. There seemed to be no escaping it. The chairman of the EFCC had actually set the ball rolling before the expiration of their tenures. I think that was a mistake. An intelligence officer should not make his intentions known. He sure gave them a head start to act. Any Governor that has been apprehended is a sure mugu. You had enough time to get that injunction. I am already processing mine. For future safety.
I talk to people around about the effectiveness of the EFCC and the results are quite mixed. Some say it was not Ribadu’s right. I agree. But, it does not explain why he was literarily whisked out of office on spurious official requirements. No problem. Then he was demoted. Now we have the new and improved EFCC. Our Governors can heave a sigh of relief. I am yet to see them bite. Some say no matter what the EFCC does, if they don’t pick Odili up for further investigation, then it is all a waste of time. I mean this fight against corruption. We talk about corruption like a living being too. Just like the fight against terror. Recently, they picked up the SSG to the current Rivers state Governor. He should have gotten an injunction too. Silly guy. He needs to learn from the master.

I just checked out the meaning of injunction from my Oxford English dictionary. It says “Injunction 1 Law a judicial order restraining a person from an action, or compelling a person to carry out a certain act. 2 an authoritative warning”

Whichever definitition we choose, all na long thing. But let’s analyze these two definitions and pretend we don’t have lawyers who can analyze things the Nigerian way.

If we look at definition 1, who was restrained from an action? I suspect the EFCC. I guess they are not as powerful an effective as we thought. The second part of that definition if I get it right means the EFCC can also get an injunction to compel Odili to appear in court. I am probably wrong. We would need a lawyer to break that one down for us? They could be so confusing. Like I said, I have tried to get them explain that injunction process for a while in relation to the current state in the country and they seem to be confused to. Ok, it’s the Nigerian political process that seems to be confusing. We could also look at definition 2. EFCC could give Odili an authoritative warning as well requiring him to appear in court or else …. Ok, I think that is a subpoena. Why can’t he get a subpoena? Because he has a court injunction already. This thing is surely getting more confusing.

I am trying to get it. I believe you readers are in the same situation. If the EFCC has some evidence or doubts in his level of graft or involvement in graft, why can’t they act on it?
I am not interested in Odili. Neither am I interested in the EFCC. I am interested in injunction. Or how to get one. I am sure many of our politicians are working that ome out to. Whoever gets to know how first, please try and share with all Nigerians. We need to educate ourselves. With over 80% of our kids failing the WAEC exams, we really need to start learning fast. We are as bad as them. After all, we are all struggling with the meaning of the word “injunction” here. So easy to spell but difficult to explain. What legacy do we want to leave behind for our kids?

9 Months Ago

I don't have a clue what a blog means. Well, I know it is a portmanteau for weBLOG. But what is it good for. I ask because i last put something here 10 months ago (even if my title says 9). I was about to post a new item and sadly, it looks exactly like the previous.

So no point going there. I know what to do. THEN DO IT. I have some articles I had written over the months. No surprise the Blog has seen none. pre-occupied with worry. Someone once said “The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.” Hmmm. Nice quote really. Pure statistics. So which side are you on?

Let me put up a few posts. Just doing a welcome back first. Did I say Congratulations President Obama. We are all proud of you.

Am I confused or what?

This blog is coming about two months down the line. I was reading up some articles on my ERP dream and i bumped into articles by Nilesh on his experience as an Oracle ERP consultant.

I feel with him and i understand when he says he is not achieving what he chose out to do. I think I am in that phase right now (or I am getting there). I will know when it is time to move on.

I have been on this job for just over a year and I am bone tired. This is not what I bargained for and I really expected more for myself by now. When I say more, I don't necessarily refer to money. I actually earn 5 time my previous salary but the job is BORING.

Now I am thinking of starting an ERP consulting firm with a focus on Open Source software. The challenge I face now are many. Your family and friends object, you are not sure how things will turn out. But hey as Nilesh rightfully observed "you are damned if you do & damned if you don't".

Then I thought, should i return to my old job. the environment is conducive for my ERP plans and the system can easily help popularize its relevance. Or is that just an excuse for taking a previous job? I am not sure.

What happens to my potential investors? Am I running away from an opportunity that i doubt will materialize.

Really, i am confused as my title says. I am not even coherent. Basically, I am tired of this job, half of me is crazy about promoting Open Source ERP. Maybe the whole of me. Half of me says go back to your previous job and use the other half to chase the ERP dream. Men, the whole of me is just confused. i need to act FAAAAAAAAAST and take my decisions. J just passed. I am tired of all this talk about work plan. It is just a ruse to keep us busy. I have more gas in my tank than i am allowed to use.

Dis Aladdin dey lie

Aladdin dey lie
I wrote a story about Aladdin two days ago. I was at work. And as usual bored as hell. I don’t know how boring hell is but it flows and I have no plans to prove it. I am surely discovering myself. I hate work and I wish I did not have to go there.

Back to my Aladdin story. If you hav not read it then I probably have not posted it. I am checking for it in my yahoo mail. I think I mailed a copy there.

Like I said the moral of the story for me was Freedom but watching it again today, maybe being true to yourself is also a worthy moral.

I look back at my life and I can safely say that “I HAVE NOT BEEN TRUE TO MYSELF”. How difficult is it to tell the truth? It seems easy but it sure hurts. I have been to hell and I am yet to get back. Not that hell. I refer to Port Harcourt. I used to live in Abuja. Now you get. So now I am in this hell, I spend a lot of time thinking about my life, those I have hurt. The opportunities I have missed. I think abut them. I wish I could easily say I don’t regret them. As they say, “there is no point regretting the tings you cannot change”. So lets assume I am not regretting. Just thinking.

Aladdin told one lie too many. The interesting thing like I said in the previous blog is that “he told them after Jasmine had fallen in love with him”. Infact at the time he was lying, Jasmine was hinting for the truth and he just could not come around to say it.

Lie number 1: I am the Prince
Lie number 2: I have never been to the market place. Then he went on about his servants even having servants who do it. Who ask am question sef. When we lie, we tend to talk too much in order to buttress our point. Why am I telling this long story. Maybe I am lying sef. I said maybe.
Lie number 3: I cant think of a third one. Can you? Well one thing is clear to me here. One lie is enough to create a lot of doubts. I actually thought Aladdin told plenty lies. Only two and I have this lousy impression that he was a shameless lier.

I guess lieing has to stop. It actually stinks more tknow. Cheating on your spouse? It usually sounds better if you tell the truth than if you lie about it. I think so.

We know Jaffar lies for a living. But not Laddin and definitely not me (I was Laddin in my previous blog). If you still have not read it, then I have not found it.

Why am I telling this lie story. I actually don’t know. And that’s the truth. I guess I am learning to tell the truth already. When was the last time you told a lie? Did it feel good? If it did, all I can say is that Jaffar keep on lieng but you would end up caged in that lie.

Well let me go back to the Tennis match I was watching. Federrer vs Keifer I wonder who will stop my man. He is in the semis of the Madrid open. I wonder why they compare him to Nadal. No basis for comparison. Nadal either wins or looses. You cant even predict. Even on clay, I don’t think he is that that certain. If he was then he should be rail roading every player that come his way by now (ike my guy). Well h is out of the Madrid, beaten by Nalbadian. Fdont know how the mach went but the CNN scrolling bar says Nadal CRUSHED by Nalbandian”. I wonder what they men by crush. I would have loved to see the look on his face as he pulls his pant from his butt. Well since he is been crushed, his face might not be a great site anymore. Jiust messing around. That is how sports goes. I havenothing against Nadal off the court. Just have a lot of rivals who seem to love the guy and e dey vex me. Na dem I dey beef indirectly. No be Nadal

Anway seriously, I am getting back to the match I already said that and I did not. Does that mean I lied? Hmmm.

Who is Aladdin?

Aladdin is one of my favourite cartoons of all time. Like all cartoons, there seems to be a moral to the story. For me, Aladdin talks about freedom even though official it says the moral is "Be true to yourself"

For me, it is freedom because Aladdin is free to do as he wishes as a street rat and he has fun with Abu is best friend living the street life. On the other hand Princess Jasmin craves for Freedom but is caged up in the palace with "everything" made available for her. Ironically Aladdin wishes he was living in the palace and Jasmine wishes she was free to go on an adventure in life. I am sure that sounds familiar.

S2 (if you have read my blog on Dis my Life Sef" reminds me of Princess Jasmine. Though she seems to act more like a princess when free than when at home. But the bottom line is freedom. i guess i was not totally true to her which is part of the problems i created.

I think Life is basically about freedom to do as we please. But remember it comes with its ups and downs as Aladdin's experience tells you. You meet opportunities like the Genie (great performance), rejections by Jasmine. Women at their best performance i guess. That did not last for long. I guess she liked the Prince even if she did not want to admit it. And you also meet great friends like the carpet. Who would ever want to be friends with a carpet? Exactly. There are surprises hidden everywhere. Take a moment to look at that fellow you have been ignoring all your life. He probably has a word of advice that might change your life forever. Hopefully for better.

On a lighter note. Let's play a game for a moment. This would be fun if you have watched Aladdin. Look around wherever you are. I am in the office right now. Place a character on the people around you and connect it to their behaviour. Well there might be some bright sides about Jaffar but i wont advice you to let your Jaffar character read this unless he sees the humour. Let me start.

J: J is the boss. With little thinking. I place J as Jafar. They both start with J. Is he as cunning and mean? No. I dont think so. Lets just say J & Jafar both start with J. I have a perfect excuse. maybe i will let him read it after all. I dont think he will see humour in it. he probably wont even understand.

Philip: I work with Philip all of the time. Well technically, we have the same job description. nice words for Everything but no description. He does his work with all the seriousness. But still has great happy moments. I got the Aladdin movie from him So u see what i mean. I am not sure what character Phil would be right now. Lets just place him as Abu. No reason for now. Like i said, we are just having fun.

T: T is a lady. She would easily fit as Jasmine. Thinking of it, she even looks like Jasmine. Hmm. Now T has a nickname. I would share that with Phil. He sees humor in these things too. I did not say T will be Jasmine. Well she is the only lady here and since my focus is my office then T jus might as well be Jasmine.

Y: Y works with T. But i assure you, Y IS NOT Aladdin. There were a lot of characters in Aladdin but we only want the key players. I think Y would be the Sultan. He is much older than T and might as well pass as a father. The jobs we do?

Mr. Von: Everyone calls him Mr. Von. The name sticks but it is not his real name. Cool guy. Packs a punch of muscle as well. Jolly fellow but we have not talked much for weeks. The reports and end of year appraisal seems to have gotten the better of me. Or is it both of us. I dont think it has affected me much or else I wont be writing this piece of...... What is it I am writing sef? Von is a nice guy. Let Von be ... Oh my God i think we have run out of characters. If you have watched Aladdin, then you remember the big fellow in the market place who wants Princess Jasmin's hand. Literarily. Before Aladdin comes to the rescue. Let that be Von. I know Von wont hurt a lady. I only choose him for size.

So who is left. Hmmm. Aladdin & Lago. Me & Funsh. Sorry Mr. Funsh, I dont think you deserve to be Lago. Well lets looks at the bright side. Lago has got plenty of humour, he is very colourful and is free to fly and have fun. He did not necessarily like Jaffar. I dont think so. And he did play a great role in the movie.

Me: Well we know who I am. Not every thinks Aladdin was the star of the movie. People prefer the role of the Genie. I actually do but i can connect with the Aladdin character better. If you know me a bit, you can look for some similarities. It does not matter if u find none. I am Al.

The Genie. Did i miss something. I must confess, I did. Well maybe not deliberately. I just could not find anyone who can make a wish happen here. Well we all wish we could but there just isnt any. I just got a mail from Lare. Well he sure makes things happen. I should be part of a project in Warri with him now. I made the wish and he granted. Jafar did not let me be. Hmm maybe J does have some Jaffar qualities afterall.

It's time to get back to work. You are free to build your Aladdin character. Even if you say i be Jaffar or Lago, I go know say na bad bele dey worry you.