All in 2 days work

I received a call yesterday evening though closer to afternoon from a friend who was holed up in the police station. I had been trying to call him all day but could now reach him for reasons clearer to me.

What was the charge? Beating up his neighbor over issues that are not really worth talking about. It is worthy to note that this was the third time this was happening. it is also worthy to note that the neighbor was a lady. I brought this last because man or woman, reporting would have still occurred. That whole stuff I wrote sounds not like correct English.


My current job status is very predictable and most boring. An opportunity to see my friend at the police station even if it was just to see somewhere out of the ordinary was just worth it.

I arrived at the police station after crawling through the old Aba road old up and turning round through Slaughter. For those who know where these places are, you would have guessed I am in the Garden City. A strange name for a town so unkempt. As Shakespeare always says, "A rose by any other name " would smell the same.

On arrival at the station, I met officer Basil. I think that was his name. A dozen young police women. I am not sure why the police seems to employee so many young under-privileged pretty girls. I would prefer not to make any conclusions. I just remembered, I met officer Basil last. My first welcome was a fellow with a machine gun. Dunno the difference between and AK 47 and whatever other machines we have but I know a machine gun when it hangs like that.

Mr. Machine Gun greeted my nicely and enquired what my visit was all about. I told him. He then asked me if I wanted to see him. I told hin "yes". This is too good to be true. I thot these guys were really bad. I then called office Basil who I had been communicating with for some time via my friends mobile phone. We established contact through a broken window while Mr. MachineGun stood firmly by my side to watch. Is this protocol or what? I told Basil I would be back and my new machine friend was taking me over to see my not so old woman beater friend. Half way to the cell, he made me understand my fee was "5h" to see my friend. I though he meant five thousand Naira which was one thousand Naira short of the fee requested to bail out my not so old friend.

I forgot to mention that. When my friend called to inform me of the situation, the fee was put at six thousand Naira. SIX TASAND naira as my former colleague Uche would scream. Let's be realistic, bail is not free. Let them not stop wasting our tax payers money sending this signal. At the time this value was reached, my friend was still sitting behind a counter. That is just a figue of speech because I am sure there was no counter there. There were 5 tables manufactured in different timezones and belonging to different generations. The office partition was impressively poor. And the partitioned office belonged to the D.P.O and one other D fellow. I can't remember the other two letters that make his case special. Not much of an office but I guess this was there world.

The police lacked professionalism and seemed like they were trained guerrillas with no sense of purpose to serve and protect. People were treated as criminals once within the station. I got scared I could be mistaken for one of the unfortunate guilty ones. I was at a point. I think it was more like a bully picking a fight. A very skinny police woman attacked me while reading a poster for recruitment of police officers which had closed 6 months earlier. She shouted at me and wanted to know if I was a policeman since i was reading the poster. I did not realize an advert for recruitment of policemen had to be read by an already recruited police officer. duh. Like I said, this was like a dog picking a fight. So I quitly worked over to a bench. I think the right word to use is cowardly. I no wan receive beating. At least not for someone else's offense and definitely not for reading an expired job ad. The poster was professionally made. Very unlike the occupants and the environment. I guess the thought of loosing the only semblance of professionalism was just too much to bear.

I sat down across the bench like i intended to play ludo with an imaginary friend across. Then another dog picked a fight and asked me I should either sit and face them or face the table which was positioned by a wall. I chose the easier option and faced the wall. I mean the table.


At this point Basil came over and told me the D.P.O said his fee had risen to 20,000 naira. WHo says these guys don't understand economics. They understand both economics and human behaviour. No one wants to sleep in a cell with fellow strangers who you might have a lot in common with by morning. Once it gets late, supply of time dimishes which raises the price. Something like that. That is why we got a 300% inflation.

I would cut a long story short. My friend slept in the cell all night. Actually a portakabin in the police premises. I wonder how much that cost tax payers. I seriously think it served him right. Not because he beat a woman. Just because he beat someone. I have missed a big part of this story. I mean the fact that his neigbour the reporter was at at the station as well begging for his release. I think she should be Florence Nightingale re-incarnate. I don't understand this law thing but i do watch a lot of movies. If you don't press charges then you ain't guilty. That's what i thought. Now, I am not sure anymore.

Well, that's how 2 days went by. I must confess it was fun to break my regular pattern and pay the police a visit. My regular pattern is boring and I would prefer to leave it undiscussed. If you look through my blogs, you might have an idea. It makes me believe life is fun when random and uncertain.

Make I go finish my Managerial Economics assignment. Na that one go get mark. Still struggling with Marginal cost and marginal revenue. I wonder why those guys just can't speak plain English.