Life , Chance and Faking It

I haven't written a blog in quite sometime. Many excuses can come to mind. But they are what they are. Excuses. Excuses are the order of the day now. It sounds politically correct to call them reasons. There was a reason the budget was passed late. There was a reason I supported PMB over GEJ. There was a reason why I drank a bottle of Star Raddler and there is definitely a reason I am ordering a Guiness stout now. There is always a reason or an excuse. Wow, all I wanted to say was I had not written in a long time. Writing is really like a walk in the park. It requires very little conscious thought. At least, not much when not writing a book like "Born on a Tuesday" or "Kane and Abel". I am sure a lot has happened in that long time. Met love and lost. Made money and spent. Had parties i probably did to keep appearance. Had a landmark election that has left so many Nigerians disillusioned. I wish I had blogged my thoughts at that time and compare them to my present mood. How fast our feelings change. I probably won't believe I wrote whatever I would read. I guess it is a good thing I didn't chronicle the events. Let my feelings at the time remain as blurry as the current government policies. This is not about politics. I believe I can hear all that when I sit in Sammies or at Dove resort. Dove is my recently discovered melting pot. They used to have a crane which just died. they still have a monkey they call Henry and a parrot which happily doesn't have a name. These days you could hear and learn unverifiable policies about politics everywhere. All Nigerians are now economists and policy strategists. I alread said this was not about politics so let me not get lost. Not even sure what it's all about. Let's just call it life and chance. I just made that up. Talk about thinking on your feet. Well, I am sitting so I guess I was thinking on my butt with my feet probable taking a share of the thinking load. So, what about Life & Chance. Life is what we have to do what ever we have done up to that point. We learn, we dine, we love, we cry, we laugh, we get betrayed and we also betray people. Oh well, I never said I was a saint. I remember my life about six years ago. It was quite a divergence from now. What am I saying? My life six months ago was quite divergent from now. I think I am quite a melancholic person now compared to six years ago. I am not sure what personality type that is but it sure sounds like the right one. Not even sure if that is the sad one or the happy one or the indifferent one. I am not even sure there is an indifferent personality. I am probably less melancholic than I was three months ago. And less melancholic than I was about an hour ago. It only gets better I guess. I wonder what happens to you when melancholy goes completely. I am still not sure melancholy is the right personality. Feel free to check sanguine and I think there are two others. I am probably one of the two I seem to remember. I want to write this without reference to google so I won't bore you with the other two or what they really mean. Google has its strength but also a very strong weakness. Have you noticed that we have become lazy and can barely spell. I have seen people refer to former as formal, weather as whether and probably Trump as Tromp (I actually misspelt whether and had auto correct to do it right. Se what I mean). I just made the last one about Trump up. I am on fire. My butt really makes me think. I will always write henceforth while sitting. Thinking about it, do I write while standing? Does anyone ever write while standing? I won't be surprised though. It is a strange world out there. I mean isn't it strange Donald Trump is doing so well? Isn't it strange Bernie gave Hilary a tough time? Isn't it even strange I am typing this pointless article? So, it means some people somewhere probably stand and write. Maybe some cultures in some country far far away. Maybe even a culture here in Nigeria. With over 250 languages, the probability just seems fair enough. I still don't know what I am writing about. I really shouldn't be making that confession. I earlier said I was writing about "Life & Chance". Yet, I haven't thought much about that. Well, all I wrote so far is somewhere in my head which makes it about my life. I think I must have been missing the faking it part of my life. I must have read somewhere that life is about faking it till you make it. If you want to be a writer, then fake it. If you want to be a sales man, then fake it. If you want to be the president, then fake it. That has happened a lot in Nigeria. I know a lot of presenters who probably faked it and we now believe they went to a school of journalism mostly far far away. I am not sure I know a president who did that successfully though. Oh well, like I said, it's a strange world out there. So, what should I fake to improve my chance on life? Here comes chance in my story. I really didn't plan that. Now, my title is "Life, Chance & Faking It". That seems more catchy. Now my blog has some life it. It is like splashing a dab of orange on a dull painting. I love orange. I don't know why. I find a reason to use it in my presentations, my articles and even my paint choices. Surprisingly, I have only one orange shirt and I bought it by chance. That's chance again coming in by chance. I guess life is about chance and faking it. Maybe life is about faking it and chance. The order seems to matter. You have to have something to fake when the chance comes I guess. The second sounds better. Faking it is like preparation meeting the opportunity. Opportunity now sounds like chance. I understand if you are confused now. I am writing without thinking much. Since I am writing without thinking, I just told myself I should stop. I would understand if you don't enjoy this blog. Like everything in life, it is obviously pointless and fake.

In da club

Nigerians are truly the happiest people in the world. Just check out the clubs on weekends and even weekdays when we have a free pass for drinks in Abuja. Maybe the richest in Africa too. I hear we burn mor champagne money than a praire on fire. A bottle of Hennessy in the club costs 18,0000. Market price is about 6,000.00 Naira. Red Label costs 13,000.00 Naira, market price is 2,600 Nigeria. Keep on walking Nigerians. For a country where we earn less than a dollar a day, you wonder where this people come from. Maybe not Nigerians. Sometimes, we even talk funny lingos. Maybe we are not from here. If i earn less than a dollar, how could i spend premium money on a temporary high. I think is time we start seeking for a permanent high that won't cost so much but would touch more lives. Albeit positively. I predict an increase in liver problems in te next 10 years. This would be my shortest blog I guess. It is linked to my thoughts on The One School Initiative. More on that soon. Summary, Nigerians need to stop wasting so much money while we subconsciously set ourselves on fire.

The One School Initiative

It is time to get serious. Enough errors, enough distractions, enough i cants. Time to get serious. This country is in dire need of help. We talk, complain, scream and criticize Government from now till the end of time. Every Nigerian has the solution to fix Nigeria. the only problem is we have not been allowed to wear GEJ's shoes. I guess the chance of that happening is quite slim. Well off course unless your name is Goodluck or you have the ears of the powers that be or you want to dedicate your life to politics. It is obvious we don't need to be in politics to change the system. We always believe the only way is politics. If it was a criteria to fixing Nigeria, then Nigeria would be awesome. I have nothing wrong with our politicians. Something within the system drives us to take selfish decisions. Not sure what. Not trying to find out now. Politics and Economics mix just varies from here to there. We need to find our own little way to assist. I picked education. I have found time to teach a primary school. Not like I have all the time in the world but I took it upon myself. I must say it was the best 2 weeks of my life and I did not get paid. Wow. Why not take it a step further. My friends and even enemies (i am sure they would put aside diferences) all showed interest in this cause. This made me realize, people want to help. We just miss out on involving them or probably are yet to find who to Bell the cat. There have been many NGOs and agencies trying to fix our health care and educational system. A big shout out to them. It is definitely not the easiest job in the world. Te OSI is designed to also support the educational system. However, it seems we have missed out something. A failure to transform public schools to private schools (half way won't be bad too). The government talks about a transformation agenda. A transformation is a complete change. We don't however transform situations. We just find ways to meliorate and patch things here and there. This is very noticeable in the education sector. there are NGOs who have provided books to schools, maybe uniforms or even sanitary materials. These can be considered laudable effort and like i earlier acknowledged their efforts. However, this not not help the transformation agenda cause. What the schools need is a complete over haul. It would surprise you n=to not that a primary school can be transformed with as little as 10,000,000.00. Ok, maybe i exaggerate, let us say 15,000,000.00. With that figure, you can buy new uniforms, books, computers, fix the infrastructure (buildings, toilets etc.). Let's even say it would cost 20,000,000.00 to fix a public school. Why do we frown from it. 300 children, 20M Naira. That is approximately 66,000 Naira per student per term. Don't forget, approximately 70% of this figure is a CAPEX. So it would not reoccur. Best we would do down the line is buy new uniforms, books and hopefully provide food. Probably spend another 5M Naira yearly to provide for 300 children. An average Nigerian in the middle class earn same a year and some earn as high as the earlier figure estimated to fix the school (20M Naira if you have forgotten). The next question is can we afford it? The truth is the future and stability of this nation and any nation depends on quality education. I can safely estimate that 80% of Nigerians go to public schools and the remaining 20% go to schools where they wear funny hats and blue ties. By the way, i like the hats but it is a signal of a private school that functions. I went to a private primary school back then but looking at our uniforms, there was really not much separating us from public schools. It seems the system has gone an extra mile in creating the US and THEM culture. We are conscious in showing all animals are not equal. It is sad to know the lower animals out-number the higher ones probably 8:2 (i estimate again) Mrs. Bertha Abumere an Educationist warned that the gulf between the rich and the poor would only get wider if something is not done about the public schools. We need to make a conscious effort to reduce the Us and Them divide before it gets too wide and find our loved ones on the wrong side. The OSI has 3 clear mandates: 1. Provide public schools with adequate infrastructure similar to private schools 2. Provide students with books and uniforms to encourage learning 3. Provide teacher support services from the middle class I believe these are the 3 missing links in fixing the public schools. The first two are so obvious but the 3rd might need further talks. It has already been observed that there is already a wide divide between the rich and the poor. This has crept into the educational sector. There is a need to consciously mix the middle class with school teachers. This is strictly a volunteer arrangement. I did it for 2 weeks and I did not get paid. As a matter of fact I paid by providing the children funding for materials and even did support the teacher through transportation. I have not remained the same ever since and I doubt any Nigerian will after such an experience. This is the last bit. We need to immerse ourselves in the problem else we would keep throwing money at a problem that never goes away. This is the summary of the One School Initiative. I would give you more details on what inspired the name and initiative. It is worth understanding where this journey started. yes, I jumped the gun but I am sure you get the point. I pray you all join this initiative in your own little corners soon. God bless you all.

20 Years Ago

20 Year ago, I got a job in Shell Nigeria. I was part of the project team working on a rig somewhere in the Swampy area of Delta State. We see kids running around with rounded kwashiorkor bellies staring at us and probably dreaming to be like us someday. They had beautiful names like Destiny, Faith, Gift and Boma. Beautiful names with beautiful dreams yet no plan to complement it all.

What do we do as Shell worker? We wave past and feel cool with our status as compared to theirs. 20 years later we have 20 year olds holding guns and killing people. 20 years ago, we could have stopped it by helping that kwashiorkor kid get a life. We chose to look the other way. Now, he has a gun and no education to put him in check.

By the way, 20 years ago, I was not in Shell and most definitely, I was not in the Delta region. A friend of mine was and part of my narration is based on his real life experience. I was too young to work but older than Destiny and obviously luckier. I was in a boarding school somewhere in the middle belt. Mine was a Nigerian dream. Well, partly. I choose to set the record straight in case Destiny or Boma remember the incident. Just be sure I was too young to have seen you hungry.

20 years later, it's amazing I don't have a gun too. We have our own type of guns too. The pen guns. Not like double-0-7. Much lethal. We rob entire countries with it. And worse still, we get away with it.


Now I live in the Delta region where everything seems to have gone wrong. Look at it like the human body with a hole in the heart. The body manages to survive by resting often and doing light tasks. However, Mr. Body fails to fix the problem by plugging the hole. Then one day, the heart fails and Mr. Body is in a critical state.

Nigeria has had a hole in the heart for a long time. The heart in this analogy is the Niger Delta. The heart is failing now. Let's hope it's not too late. There are many ways to fix a failing heart. A transplant is the only option if the heart don fail patapata. if e remain small, a surgery will do. (that if the doctor says it has not failed completely. who is the doctor? What stage are we in? Do we even have hope for surgery? Time will tell.

Who caused this problem? The oil companies blame Government, Government blame the Oil Companies, the Oil Companies all blame Shell. Shell in the middle.

Personally, I blame the Oil Companies. I wouldn't say Shell specifically but I am not impressed with the operations there either. They are the agents and it is the agents task to ensure a strategy is formulated to guide the company through the future. The agent had the responsibility to ensure a bright future for the principal 20 years ago. 20 years ago, the agents failed. The heart ticks on. Slowly but...

Nigerian Business Opportunities

I have been scanning the Nigerian environment for business opportunities and I can categorically say there are too many opportunities staring at us.

What is missing is the guts to take the bold step. I have a full time job which does not pay badly but I have made some money by the side a couple of times in between. I notice the more you earn in paid employment, the less time you have to earn more money outside. Talk about the opportunity cost of the choices we make. That means i make less money by the side now that i earn more on the inside.

So, what are the business opportunities I talk about? I have designed websites for clients. The return are not so great but 100k after a 2 week job is not bad money. I have sold Kilishi in Port-Harcourt as an experiment. And I think it should be categorized as a fast moving consumer good (FCMG). For those who don't know, Kilishi is a dry meat popular in the Northern part of Nigeria. The returns are as high as 30% if you plan the logistics efficiently. 30% return on a weekly investment is not bad business if you ask me. My weekly estimat is overstated. You can turn this around in two days.

Let's assume I loose my job (which takes too much of my time anyway) or I choose to resign (which crosses my mind even while I sleep), why can't I focus on my website business and also start my Kilishi export (without custom tariffs and delays - amen) by the side? The only excuse I see is belief in what you do. And also our get rich-quick mentality. I discussed my Kilishi idea with my brother in-law a few hours ago and he washed it down like a bottle of stout. Look at the McDonalds and Starbucks. The story is usually that simple. Look at the Virgin group. Even simpler. You need to appreciate his arbitrage strategy in filling up a plane.

Nigerians need to start looking around for missed opportunities. There are many out there other than selling Diesel and generators. The truth is many of this markets are saturated and the returns highly exaggerated. WHich explains the infiltration of adulterated products (China & Condensate). I believe our Abuja politicians have only succeeded in creating an illusion of wealth. Nigeria is not as rich as we like to believe. The good news is that we have so many opportunities to create wealth. Remember, wealth is created not conjoured like our natural resources. Think about countries like Japan who have no oil. How do they sustain themselves? Brain power baby. Nothing more. Nothing less.

I know my suggestion sounds to simplistic and we have too many hurdles to cross. For one, Government's lack of transparency. That is a challenge if you choose to pursue Government opportunities. The problem is that Government opportunities as it is is not wealth creation but wealth depletion. Look at my Kilishi business. Buy at X naira, sell at X+Y Naira. You get the point. Chase opportunities that require minimal Government interference (apart from taxes). That should be your strategy.


This is my suggestion to us all. Let's try and increase the size of the cake rather than think the cake is fixed in size and cannot be increased.

You wonder why i tell you about my Kilishi opportunity. It is not a secret. People were doing it before me. And some will after me (maybe many). The problem is patience and a properly structured business plan which guarantees return well into the future. I can tell you what I do but that does not guarantee you can do it the way I do it. The market is big for us all. And as they say, the more the merrier. If you choose to saturate my market, no problem. Time to scan the environment again. As I said in the beginning,there are way too many opportunities to make the cake larger.

The Nigeria we should love

I am a Nigerian and I am proud. I have had the last two years to reflect on my life and really ask myself questions about who I really am and what I want to spend the rest of my life doing. Ironically, this is coming at a time when people think I am living a better life since I earn more money. The grass is always greener they say. Like economics always say, there is no free lunch.

Now I have an idea of what I want to do. Take not of the word "idea". Life is ever changing and I might just tell you something else tomorrow. Take take as a disclaimer of my choice of direction and not a sign of indecision. That's confusing.

I have been privileged to work in the public sector and the private sector. reflection on both tell me the public sector offers more challenges and room for adventures. Using the US Army adage, you can "Be all you can be".

I don't want that interest to die so I am going to write whatever i can about the Nigerian Government. No criticism. Just what I feel they do and how we can communicate it all to Nigerian both home and abroad. I must confess that I have some critical blogs out there already. That was then. This is now. This is the time for the optimists.

I love this country. It is all I have known. No point denying it. We have our short comings. So do the best of the best.

I suggest we start loving this country for what it is. That is only when we can make true progress. As a matter of fact, start loving yourselves. Life is short. We come and go but Naija remains for life. Amen.

Education vs Electricity – The 1-Point Agenda

A friend of mine posted a comment on facebook a couple of days ago. “Y cant the govt reduce the 7 point agenda to just 1? and let it be "ELECTRICITY"...if yar adua achieves that in his period as president..good. (sic). I responded “Y not education?”.

This looked like a simple discussion/ observation between two friends. As usual, someone else had a comment to add. No be Facebook.


“I believe electricity first and then education second...The electricity will give room for access to quality education online n offline...God created the world before creating the people. He didn't create people before the world...If education comes first, it will still suffer when electricity is not in place...do u get?

Don't ask me what has education got to do with electricity..You know that already... “ (sic)

I sent a mail to my friend. I will try and dig it up. Needless to say, I was upset at the response. I thought the write was blatantly rude and did not deserve any other comments. I responded by sending a mail to my friend directly to express my feelings. He shared my views. At least that I was made to believe.

My response in summary was that his friend (who was not my friend though i was disappointed to find him on my friend list) was rude and obviously not that well educated. If he was, he would have learnt how to communicate with people he did not know presonally. Facebook or not.


I see a challenge with how we view education. Something tells me we are all stuck with UNIVERSITY education. And maybe SECONDARY school. We seem to forget education at the very low level has crumbled as well. I am not sure how much electricity we need at those levels. We call the children the leaders of tomorrow but we try to fix electricity at the expense of having no leaders groomed to manage the electricity we would have pumped billions into. What would be the result of that? We have already seen it. That is why Efose (Efose responded to the blog as well) runs out of her house. I just dug up the mail i sent to my friend unedited.

I don't appreciate your friend's comment on facebook.

"i believe electricity first and then education second...The electricity will give room for access to quality education online n offline...God created the world before creating the people. He didn't create people before the world...If education comes first, it will still suffer when electricity is not in place...do u get?

Don't ask me what has education got to do with electrictity..You know that already..."

My initial reaction was to respond as below:

"Ok sir. Sorry, but do I know you? I believe there are nicer ways to talk to people you have not met. Even if you have. Now you see why I say education first. ELectricity won't teach you good manners. An that goes a long way.

But I felt that should stay between me and you. Please try and advice him to learn to talk to people politely."

We all know how good electricity was when we were growing up? So, where did it all go wrong? Until we can answer that question, I really see why Yar Adua has challenges fixing it. I totally agree, electricity is important but can anyone tell me how much electricity you require in primary & secondary (non-boarding house i guess). i think education is easier to attack. And why has it been difficult to fix electricity? They are both emergencies to me. Whatever side of the debate you choose, I believe this discussion can forever be handled maturely and politely. I can't remember my rude friend's friend's name. I might just wan you to avoid him. I think it had "Freak" in it. What a rude freak he turned out to be.