Insomnia

If i write a blog every night I stay awake, I would have written a book. By a book, I mean a trilogy. Guess what? I have never read a trilogy. Sad.

I am not sure I should call my sleeping pattern awkward or different. Considering I am not along on this, I can say there are many awkward or should I say different people. Those who work at night and sleep during the day. It can be such a lonely life sometimes. Your close friends can be found on whatsapp at this time. Hmmmm.

My Dream Sleep. Dream on Taiwo. (Source: https://fthmb.tqn.com)

I can name a few of us off the top of my head. Eme who has been able to convince everyone of his boss he works at odd hours. Bode, who works for himself and loves to write his own rules. Ehi, who I just met who probably transformed due to baby duties. Asmau a potential and hopeful client who sleeps till 2PM because she stays awake all night. I guess we make the Nigerian economy function round the clock. We have created our 7/11, our night nurse system and many other 24 hour services. Let us just say, we take full advantage of the Internet. Or rather the Internet takes full advantage of us.

Is insomnia a medical condition? Maybe the word I was looking for is not insomnia as this refers to inability to sleep. It does not state when. Further study shows quite a number of sleep disorders out there. I am definitely a patient of some. Further check shows there are apparently 9 or maybe more Common Sleep Disorders. They are listed in order as:

1. Insomnia
2. Sleep Apnea
3. Restless Leg Syndrome
4. REM Sleep Behaviour Disorder
5. Narcolepsy
6. Sleep Walking
7. Sleep Terrors
8. Bruxism (Teeth Grinding)
9. Ibadism (Sleep off while driving)

First of all, I made up number 9. Why not? They all seem made up. Who comes up with Bruxism? People deceiving people since forever with terms and phrases. No wonder Trump won the election with a third grader vocabulary. We tired of the schism. Used the word wrongly here but in an ism mood.

Ibadism happened to me while driving from Ibadan back to Lagos. I dozed off and was woken up by the loud horn of a truck. A moment too late, I would have been dead without knowing it. Maybe we take death too seriously. Maybe I should call it Odunism. I won't tell you why but just know they refer to the same thing. Ibadism or Odunism: Driving under the influence of stupidity.

Now to number one. It is irregular sleep. It has nothing to do with time of day. Such a fraudulent definition. Almost everyone has insomnia. Some people can't sleep easy during the day and some at night. All na insomnia.

Sleep apnea is not as rare as you think. The explanation is also scary. If you snore, then you just might be a candidate for sleep apnea. Sleep apnea victims completely stop breathing for a length of time and sometimes multiple times at night (like insomnia, it just might be anytime of the day). Apparently it happens to 1 in 5 Americans. I guess this probably goes for the world too. How do they know? Well, they have a body called the National Sleep Foundation. They have to earn their pay. Now you know why the unemployment rate is so low over there. They have a job for everything. they even have jobs for jobs that have not been created. I am 1 in the 5 by the way. How do I know. I was told. The only way to know you are apnead (made up) is to have an observant bed mate. If there is any reason to have a bedmate other than commit those sins, this is it. You literally stop breathing. Only an observer can tell you that. If they stop being your sleep mates, then you just saved yourself one less trouble. I saved myself on less trouble. Not sure it was the apnea or something else unrevealed.

Everyone has the crazy leg. not sure that's abnormal. Maybe not having it is abnormal. REM sounds old and frequent. If you dream, then you definitely REM. I have only met one person who never dreams. So she claimed. Life might have happened to her though. Enjoy your dreams Seyi.

Narcolepsy is what I call sudden sleep yakata. Have you ever seen someone sleep off in the middle of a conversation? Now, that is a disorder and deserves a special name. Hey, wake up and continue reading this. I know a few but I am not one of those and won't want to embarrass Ayo. Oops. I think a number of our politicians do that. Not sure if it is Narcolepsy but that is a better defense for them than incompetence or old age. Google "Nigeria politician Sleep". I don't want to put any picture in my blog. I might be hounded for financial crimes and the minister of information is also working some social media management procedure. Sleep pictures might not be allowed.

Sleep walking still seems like a myth to me. Won't talk about it. If you know anyone or if you are not ashamed to, then please comment on it.

Sleep terror is you talking and screaming in your sleep. Usually based on a traumatic past. Nigerians are surely resilient. With a traumatic government and frequent heart breaks by slay queens and yoruba daemons, I wonder why we sleep peacefully. We must be so cold inside.

Bruxism sounds made up too. The name even makes it seem so. Never heard of it and never seen anyone doing eat (it). If you do meet someone who does, I doubt you would sleep next to them again. That could lead to a bloody morning some day. Maybe they mean a grinding kiss. Had a girl who kisses with her teeth.  I am sure there is a name for that too. They claim about 45 million Americans have this Bruxism thing. Sounds like another 1 in 5. Are these statistics made up? Like I said jobs, jobs and more jobs out of nothing. Lucky American dentists.

So much for sleep disorder research. As I complete this, I hear my neighbours generator grinding away with another industrial sized one with no silent cabin coming up in a flat near me. I wonder how such owners sleep well at night with a conscience. I think there should be one for generator deprived sleep. Maybe our insomnia is not natural but a product of a noisy generator night. Let's call that GENRIXM or better still NEPISM with lack for a more creative and unrelated word. Nigerians know where NEPISM comes from. You can ask any of your Nigerian friends.

PS:

There is no apparent term for kissing with your teeth. I would have lost a bet if I made one. Thank God there is still some sanity in the world.

The suck kiss. There is probably a name for this(Source: Naira Land)

A visit to the Queen

I am sure you wondering who the Queen I visited was. Actually, I visited the National Theatre in Lagos. It is listed as one of our national monuments. I think it is better we just call it a national relic. A once in the distant past monument of pride.

I took my nephews and nieces for a trip not sure what to expect. I don't recollect visiting that place in decades. It is definitely no more a theatre. It looks more like a huge piece of something occupying a prime area of real estate. We had planned to visit "The place of no return" in Badagry. We changed at the last minute due to logistics, time and probably a budget constraint. I wouldn't dwell on that but that was the slave port for shipping us to the new world for a part of a horse and never to return. I hear 16 slaves are exchanged for one horse.

The entrance prides a huge portrait of queen Amina of Zaria. Not sure of her achievements right now but I recall war was a part of it. She is portrayed mostly on horse back so she is probably a horse lover or history was rewritten for sensationalism.

From Left: Ayobami, Olaife, Ayomikun, Ayotunde and Oreofe (The Queen in the background)

I wouldn't have titled it a visit to the queen but I noticed on departure that there is a statue of her welcoming us to the theatre. I don't know how I missed it. I guess her welcome was not as dramatic as the sculptures assumed or my expectations for the visit made me miss such a master piece.

I am guessing now that the theatre was themed around the queen. Beyond that, I can't say much. I expected the visit to be uneventful but I noticed the kids had fun all the same. Kids tend to make the best of every opportunity. Wish we could all be like that again. I am trying to.

My sister thought they would be a handful. I don't know why such worries. The trip to the theatre was just what I expected it to be. The trip. The kids stared for a while, argued for another part and pretty much were deep asleep by the time we arrived.

The boys fearlessly on their horses

I will just talk about our experience and how we had fun. Sadly, the theatre had nothing much to offer. I even feel opening it as an entertainment relic would be better than the state we met it. I wonder why our government is so wasteful, unimaginative and mostly disorganized. The only hall meant for stage plays was unavailable due to the hall being rented out for what I suspect was a private event. I guess this is an unintended outcome of privatization. Our journey to the theatre was almost completed before we started.

Oreofe not-so fearless mount

Thanks to the horse riders who had their malnourished horses out for rent. The boys Ayotunde and Ayomikun were excited and had a good ride. The girls were scared to their pants literally. I noticed a loud fart from Olaife at some point while crying and protesting against getting near the animals. I thought she went beyond a fart but thankfully, she was well behaved. Beyond that, they sure had fun. Surprisingly, Oreofe wanted to play soccer ball. That is what she called it. Surprised she knew the word soccer at the age of 3 years. I guess watching Nikelodeon or 61 as she fondly calls it has not been a total waste of time.

I would mention in passing that we did have lunch. We went to the food court as I have no better way to describe it. We stopped in court x (thanks to the lady who was all over us the moment we got to the theatre) and managed to have a couple of stuff. None was memorable so I really would pass on the experience. I don't even have any pictures from the tasteless experience. I don't know what the other courts might have offered us though. I replaced the court number with x as an after thought. It is not my intention to de-market any business. It just might be a better experience for you.

The journey home was less eventful as we were on our way to familiar grounds. The kids were a bit cranky and we had a few fights in the car. I realized this was normal as they made up without jus as they started. We stopped at another relic on the way home. The national stadium. They were 7 minutes apart according to google maps. i think it was more like 10 minutes. Probably due to LASTMA stopping us for jumping a light and also the google lady missing the estimated time. Yes, I did jump a light. In my defence, the kids distracted me and we had to settle another fight. We appealed to the wardens and I guess arresting me with 5 noisy children didn't seem like an offer they wanted.

We spent a few minutes in the national stadium. The kids were curious and didn't mind it was a relic from my point of view. I wonder if everything with the word "National" in it is more of a relic than a monument. Play a game in your mind. Think of any National sites or functions and decide if it is a relic or a monument.

I would say every journey and experience is worth it. We have lost history and assume these old monuments (relics) are not worth showing our kids. I have no idea what this experience would teach them. However, they are good at reflections. They come up with the smartest ideas. It was definitely better than staying at home and Olaife seemed to have a new bounce when she got home. I almost missed showing you are departure picture when leaving home. She didn't forget to grab her bag. She already knows an outing requires a hand bag. Thankfully, the bag wasn't a relic. Amazing.

I forgot to take a picture of the Queen statue on a horse. Like I said, she must have not been that obvious or I just didn't expect to meet her there. You be the judge.

Queen Amina at the entrance

How much do we really know?

The title speaks. We really can't know so much. Even if you have a ten thousand-book library, would you say the person knows so much? It reveals a constant quest for knowledge but doesn't prove much knowledge. I was just thinking about this while watching Farid Zakaria on CNN and he presented a teaser on refugee statistics and I thought, beyond Farid and those in the know, who really knew the answer.

Can Stephen Hawkins speak Yoruba for instance or an African correspondent speaks all major languages in Africa. I think this is a reflection about our level of knowledge at any point in time.


I think it is time to get humble and stay humble. This probably explains the Trump problem in America right now. No need to debate on his level of knowledge, information or analytical mind. He never reads. That sums it up. Yet. he choses to believe he is the smartest ever. One thing I keep saying is that Trump did change the world positively. He woke the world up to how much we need to learn to lead. Now we research on opposition research, collusions, the cold war and NATO. Things we probably didn't bother to know because we believed our leader knows about it and would do his job.
Now, this. We all want to know to protect ourselves just in case.

The Donald has definitely created many future leaders.

Wrong Spelling

I just read a book written by a fellow named Okechukwu Ofili. He also has a blog called ofilispeaks.com which i have not even opened as i type. Where hast gone your curious mind Taiwo?

That is not even the purpose of this post. I only mentioned it because his work inspired and pushed me to start writing again. This happens all the time when you read an inspiring book and wears off after a while of distraction. That is also not the purpose of this post.

The purpose is actually quite shameful. I couldn't remember the name of my blog. I tried orisirisi.blogs... and it failed. Fortunately, i could pick it out of my google account and realized it was orishirishi.blogs... The difference was the "sh" and not "s".

Why am i bothering with a wrong spelling abd just not opening the damn blog? I seriously don't know. Maybe I think in English by I am yoruba origin. Else, why spell a Yoruba word with English rules? (Note, There is no "h" in the youruba language.). Maybe someone has already used orisirisi.blog.. and i had to get a variant. I doubt that really but like not checking Ofilispeaks, i am not checking to confirm this.

I still don't know the purpose of the blog post. Let me just make it up. Hmmm. A perceived mistake or difference in people might really be a combination of past experiences which we should just respect. That explains my Yoruba/English spelling mix.

Maybe, we should not be ashamed when we forget things we really should not forget and realize everyone makes silly mistakes and like ofili says, our stupidity might be nearer to us.

You know what, I give up. There is no reason for this post. Me sef know. I just had to write. Maybe ofili's advise is great or not so.  You can write and not make sense but at least you don write.

Life , Chance and Faking It

I haven't written a blog in quite sometime. Many excuses can come to mind. But they are what they are. Excuses. Excuses are the order of the day now. It sounds politically correct to call them reasons. There was a reason the budget was passed late. There was a reason I supported PMB over GEJ. There was a reason why I drank a bottle of Star Raddler and there is definitely a reason I am ordering a Guiness stout now. There is always a reason or an excuse. Wow, all I wanted to say was I had not written in a long time. Writing is really like a walk in the park. It requires very little conscious thought. At least, not much when not writing a book like "Born on a Tuesday" or "Kane and Abel". I am sure a lot has happened in that long time. Met love and lost. Made money and spent. Had parties i probably did to keep appearance. Had a landmark election that has left so many Nigerians disillusioned. I wish I had blogged my thoughts at that time and compare them to my present mood. How fast our feelings change. I probably won't believe I wrote whatever I would read. I guess it is a good thing I didn't chronicle the events. Let my feelings at the time remain as blurry as the current government policies. This is not about politics. I believe I can hear all that when I sit in Sammies or at Dove resort. Dove is my recently discovered melting pot. They used to have a crane which just died. they still have a monkey they call Henry and a parrot which happily doesn't have a name. These days you could hear and learn unverifiable policies about politics everywhere. All Nigerians are now economists and policy strategists. I alread said this was not about politics so let me not get lost. Not even sure what it's all about. Let's just call it life and chance. I just made that up. Talk about thinking on your feet. Well, I am sitting so I guess I was thinking on my butt with my feet probable taking a share of the thinking load. So, what about Life & Chance. Life is what we have to do what ever we have done up to that point. We learn, we dine, we love, we cry, we laugh, we get betrayed and we also betray people. Oh well, I never said I was a saint. I remember my life about six years ago. It was quite a divergence from now. What am I saying? My life six months ago was quite divergent from now. I think I am quite a melancholic person now compared to six years ago. I am not sure what personality type that is but it sure sounds like the right one. Not even sure if that is the sad one or the happy one or the indifferent one. I am not even sure there is an indifferent personality. I am probably less melancholic than I was three months ago. And less melancholic than I was about an hour ago. It only gets better I guess. I wonder what happens to you when melancholy goes completely. I am still not sure melancholy is the right personality. Feel free to check sanguine and I think there are two others. I am probably one of the two I seem to remember. I want to write this without reference to google so I won't bore you with the other two or what they really mean. Google has its strength but also a very strong weakness. Have you noticed that we have become lazy and can barely spell. I have seen people refer to former as formal, weather as whether and probably Trump as Tromp (I actually misspelt whether and had auto correct to do it right. Se what I mean). I just made the last one about Trump up. I am on fire. My butt really makes me think. I will always write henceforth while sitting. Thinking about it, do I write while standing? Does anyone ever write while standing? I won't be surprised though. It is a strange world out there. I mean isn't it strange Donald Trump is doing so well? Isn't it strange Bernie gave Hilary a tough time? Isn't it even strange I am typing this pointless article? So, it means some people somewhere probably stand and write. Maybe some cultures in some country far far away. Maybe even a culture here in Nigeria. With over 250 languages, the probability just seems fair enough. I still don't know what I am writing about. I really shouldn't be making that confession. I earlier said I was writing about "Life & Chance". Yet, I haven't thought much about that. Well, all I wrote so far is somewhere in my head which makes it about my life. I think I must have been missing the faking it part of my life. I must have read somewhere that life is about faking it till you make it. If you want to be a writer, then fake it. If you want to be a sales man, then fake it. If you want to be the president, then fake it. That has happened a lot in Nigeria. I know a lot of presenters who probably faked it and we now believe they went to a school of journalism mostly far far away. I am not sure I know a president who did that successfully though. Oh well, like I said, it's a strange world out there. So, what should I fake to improve my chance on life? Here comes chance in my story. I really didn't plan that. Now, my title is "Life, Chance & Faking It". That seems more catchy. Now my blog has some life it. It is like splashing a dab of orange on a dull painting. I love orange. I don't know why. I find a reason to use it in my presentations, my articles and even my paint choices. Surprisingly, I have only one orange shirt and I bought it by chance. That's chance again coming in by chance. I guess life is about chance and faking it. Maybe life is about faking it and chance. The order seems to matter. You have to have something to fake when the chance comes I guess. The second sounds better. Faking it is like preparation meeting the opportunity. Opportunity now sounds like chance. I understand if you are confused now. I am writing without thinking much. Since I am writing without thinking, I just told myself I should stop. I would understand if you don't enjoy this blog. Like everything in life, it is obviously pointless and fake.

In da club

Nigerians are truly the happiest people in the world. Just check out the clubs on weekends and even weekdays when we have a free pass for drinks in Abuja. Maybe the richest in Africa too. I hear we burn mor champagne money than a praire on fire. A bottle of Hennessy in the club costs 18,0000. Market price is about 6,000.00 Naira. Red Label costs 13,000.00 Naira, market price is 2,600 Nigeria. Keep on walking Nigerians. For a country where we earn less than a dollar a day, you wonder where this people come from. Maybe not Nigerians. Sometimes, we even talk funny lingos. Maybe we are not from here. If i earn less than a dollar, how could i spend premium money on a temporary high. I think is time we start seeking for a permanent high that won't cost so much but would touch more lives. Albeit positively. I predict an increase in liver problems in te next 10 years. This would be my shortest blog I guess. It is linked to my thoughts on The One School Initiative. More on that soon. Summary, Nigerians need to stop wasting so much money while we subconsciously set ourselves on fire.

The One School Initiative

It is time to get serious. Enough errors, enough distractions, enough i cants. Time to get serious. This country is in dire need of help. We talk, complain, scream and criticize Government from now till the end of time. Every Nigerian has the solution to fix Nigeria. the only problem is we have not been allowed to wear GEJ's shoes. I guess the chance of that happening is quite slim. Well off course unless your name is Goodluck or you have the ears of the powers that be or you want to dedicate your life to politics. It is obvious we don't need to be in politics to change the system. We always believe the only way is politics. If it was a criteria to fixing Nigeria, then Nigeria would be awesome. I have nothing wrong with our politicians. Something within the system drives us to take selfish decisions. Not sure what. Not trying to find out now. Politics and Economics mix just varies from here to there. We need to find our own little way to assist. I picked education. I have found time to teach a primary school. Not like I have all the time in the world but I took it upon myself. I must say it was the best 2 weeks of my life and I did not get paid. Wow. Why not take it a step further. My friends and even enemies (i am sure they would put aside diferences) all showed interest in this cause. This made me realize, people want to help. We just miss out on involving them or probably are yet to find who to Bell the cat. There have been many NGOs and agencies trying to fix our health care and educational system. A big shout out to them. It is definitely not the easiest job in the world. Te OSI is designed to also support the educational system. However, it seems we have missed out something. A failure to transform public schools to private schools (half way won't be bad too). The government talks about a transformation agenda. A transformation is a complete change. We don't however transform situations. We just find ways to meliorate and patch things here and there. This is very noticeable in the education sector. there are NGOs who have provided books to schools, maybe uniforms or even sanitary materials. These can be considered laudable effort and like i earlier acknowledged their efforts. However, this not not help the transformation agenda cause. What the schools need is a complete over haul. It would surprise you n=to not that a primary school can be transformed with as little as 10,000,000.00. Ok, maybe i exaggerate, let us say 15,000,000.00. With that figure, you can buy new uniforms, books, computers, fix the infrastructure (buildings, toilets etc.). Let's even say it would cost 20,000,000.00 to fix a public school. Why do we frown from it. 300 children, 20M Naira. That is approximately 66,000 Naira per student per term. Don't forget, approximately 70% of this figure is a CAPEX. So it would not reoccur. Best we would do down the line is buy new uniforms, books and hopefully provide food. Probably spend another 5M Naira yearly to provide for 300 children. An average Nigerian in the middle class earn same a year and some earn as high as the earlier figure estimated to fix the school (20M Naira if you have forgotten). The next question is can we afford it? The truth is the future and stability of this nation and any nation depends on quality education. I can safely estimate that 80% of Nigerians go to public schools and the remaining 20% go to schools where they wear funny hats and blue ties. By the way, i like the hats but it is a signal of a private school that functions. I went to a private primary school back then but looking at our uniforms, there was really not much separating us from public schools. It seems the system has gone an extra mile in creating the US and THEM culture. We are conscious in showing all animals are not equal. It is sad to know the lower animals out-number the higher ones probably 8:2 (i estimate again) Mrs. Bertha Abumere an Educationist warned that the gulf between the rich and the poor would only get wider if something is not done about the public schools. We need to make a conscious effort to reduce the Us and Them divide before it gets too wide and find our loved ones on the wrong side. The OSI has 3 clear mandates: 1. Provide public schools with adequate infrastructure similar to private schools 2. Provide students with books and uniforms to encourage learning 3. Provide teacher support services from the middle class I believe these are the 3 missing links in fixing the public schools. The first two are so obvious but the 3rd might need further talks. It has already been observed that there is already a wide divide between the rich and the poor. This has crept into the educational sector. There is a need to consciously mix the middle class with school teachers. This is strictly a volunteer arrangement. I did it for 2 weeks and I did not get paid. As a matter of fact I paid by providing the children funding for materials and even did support the teacher through transportation. I have not remained the same ever since and I doubt any Nigerian will after such an experience. This is the last bit. We need to immerse ourselves in the problem else we would keep throwing money at a problem that never goes away. This is the summary of the One School Initiative. I would give you more details on what inspired the name and initiative. It is worth understanding where this journey started. yes, I jumped the gun but I am sure you get the point. I pray you all join this initiative in your own little corners soon. God bless you all.